The Craftsman Blog

Today I’m launching five new products. I am not taking questions.
I hand-forged a caulk gun. It has a walnut grip. It comes in a presentation case like a dueling pistol. It’s loaded with a tube of All-Purpose Surrender Compound. For when you’ve tried everything else and just need it to stop. The blacksmith I was working with quit. Twice. I finished it myself.

I built a brass Victorian instrument that detects load-bearing walls using absolutely no science whatsoever. The dial goes from PROBABLY FINE to OH NO. There’s a Gut Feeling Calibration k**b. It is the most accurate tool I’ve ever made and I will not be explaining that.

I made a leather field kit for identifying which layer of white paint is the historically accurate white paint. We tested it in 200 homes across 11 states. Nobody found the answer. A woman in Savannah made it to Layer 23 before she had to be escorted from the property. I consider that a success.

I commissioned a carnival wheel you spin every Saturday morning to find out how your house plans to ruin you that week. There is a “Quiet Weekend” wedge. It is the smallest one. No one has ever landed on it. I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have included it.

And yes. The screw box. Dovetailed walnut. Burgundy velvet. Brass pedestal for the one screw you’ve been saving since 2014. It has a serial number. Est. 1923. Because if you’re going to hoard a worthless fastener for the rest of your life it should at least have provenance.

I will not be elaborating further.
Link in bio.

historicpreservation weshipregret

Nothing says Christmas like some pure asbestos snow! As advertised, it is the “cleanest and whitest” there is. Why would you choose any other type of snow?