Under the Bus

It has been a beautiful late winter day in Portland. The sun is sinking over hills west of the city with sincere and welcoming golden glow. Fortunately, the bay window is only about five feet away and is three degrees shy of facing dead West.

I just finished responding to a friend, but before that I had been out of the house since about 7:47 AM. I had to drive to Sportcraft Marina to pick up a tiny part to complete repairs to Suzuki 9.9 hp outboard with around 30 hours of use. I did not raise the engine into trailering height and angle, and when going over a particularly aggressive speed bump at a low rate of speed, my prop collided with cement, which snapped off half of one of my four blades.

When I received a new prop, it would not sit properly or turn with the transmission in neutral. So, I did what I knew to do—reach out to my fishing buddy, who happens to be an ace mechanic. Long story short, the propeller shaft was slightly bent so I had to purchase a new one. And so I can finally begin using my sixteen foot drift boat. Springers should show up soon and there are still a few steelhead around. I thought about crabbing at Garibaldi, Sunday, but it shows 18 mph winds and possible rain ruling that possibility out.

I spent time outdoors, and with the boat fully operational, I can get out on the water where I can almost forget how untenable and emotionally painful life has become in both my waking hours and dreams. I hoped that beginning to fully address my attackers and the libel and slander that was a part of a campaign of character assassination, dehumanization, and a walking death sentence.

Nobody who was there in December of 2022 at the 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall election participated in that scripted and coordinated kangaroo court, where I literally had no rights should dare call it in any way, democratic or Democratic. The leaders of the recall at that point were Rosa Colquitt and Kelie McWilliams. Though all were initially cautioned by DPO Chair Hanson against engaging in libel or slander (they had lengthy PowerPoint presentations that were long on accusations and devoid of proof), they operated totally unchecked.

I on the other hand was approaching the event horizon of a mental breakdown. Yet, I made no excuses and repeated my apology to Rosa. Never has she acknowledged any of the personal apologies I offered her. She is harder than titanium and colder than an iceberg in her judgments and absolute devotion to retribution and destroying her ‘enemies’. And she keeps score and often expressed the opinion to me that the DPO and the Washington County Dems

After they were unable to recall me, she was furious that she did not have all the votes she, McWilliams, and their death squad believed they had locked up, ensuring my recall and guaranteeing my total vilification. As I recall, they asked for at least one recount and visibly—audibly if close enough--manifested their anger publicly. One of their witnesses was a woman I have never met, but seems to be clairvoyant and psychic: Mary Rarick.

I suspect that she evidently loathes me because she has a thing about gay men in politics, and I had the temerity and gall to attempt to light a fire under State Rep. Rob Nosse to revisit and support the DPO Stonewall Caucus’ anti-bullying legislation. I suspect that he has been roughed up quite a bit more than he was by my demand for an answer. And when the MultDems Chair stepped in I made no attempt to pursue it further. Yet, Rarick not only gave testimony based on personal opinion but made her opinion crystal clear regarding my apologies on multiple occasions, loudly stating that they made her want to puke or vomit.

I am not a politician; I am an activist spurred on by my past association with the Houston GLBT Caucus. (HGLBTPC). I was also involved with Houston ARCH and on the board of the “Botts Collection of LGBT History” prior to it being acquired and wonderfully preserved by the University of Houston. I cannot fathom HGLBTPC ever sanctioning or tolerating such behavior. Former three-term Houston Mayor Annise Parker was a founding member and former Chair.

I will have more to post about Shani Harris-Bagwell, but I am going to move on to McWilliams.

Back in the early Nineties, the AS/400 System Admin at Kino Community Hospital in Tucson, who patiently provided advice and let me know if I was on the verge of causing something uglier than homemade sin. He had a large poster behind his desk of a graveyard with caption that they are full of indispensable men.

Additionally, he advised me that all things considered, the best laid plans of mice and men rarely come to fruition and what a “blivit” is: forty pounds of bull manure in a gunnysack. McWilliams is a gigablivit. Had I agreed to sell my soul and integrity to Rosa and endorse her as she had long attempted to persuade me to do, I not McWilliams would be running things. But then again, unlike McWilliams and her bottom-feeding and transactional underlings I have ethics and commitment to facts.

On December 11th, I believe I posted a comment regarding an SCC delegate and McWilliams evidently still sending out false and unverifiable accusations from over two years ago. I did not identify them by name, county, caucus, committee, or gender. I protected their identity. The only other person that might know who they were would be McWilliams, who I later discovered had blocked me from seeing her page. Furthermore, I suspect this individual was only one of those to whom she sent her PowerPoint presentation for the 2022 recall.

On December 14th, I received a hostile email from this person accusing me of violating my offer of privacy which I had stated when asking them to please forward whatever McWilliams had sent, which I did not do as they never passed the information along. Already at a nadir of depression and not posting anything in the interim, I made only one brief anti-Trump post over the next two months, only recently deciding I had to post or perish.

Had the situations been reversed, I never would have reached out to the individual, as McWilliams did and chastised them for it. They should also be aware that following the unsuccessful recall, Rosa and McWilliams asked for permission to not only review the ballots but to know how each SCC member voted. When Rosa was asked by an Executive Committee member why she and McWilliams wanted the names, she said she preferred not to say.

I, on the other hand, have never asked anyone for anything other than their vote or behaved transactionally to gain it. I never ask for endorsements, and I have never asked anyone how they voted in races in which I was a candidate.

McWilliams, Rosa, Harris-Bagwell, and their toxic sycophants are bullies and to one degree or another facile liars, and like all bullies, cowards. I hope that their days in DPO leadership are numbered and quickly winding down.

I am hoping I might be able to sleep soon and have been far too long at my keyboard. I will continue with McWilliams tomorrow and move on to Rosa Colquitt Sunday.

(--more--)

I posted the following comments on a page for transgender, nonbinary, gender noncomforming, and intersex Democratic delegates to the Democratic National Convention(s) and electeds:
It has been a dreadful year, colored by chronic major depression and near-constant bouts of PTSD. Actually, the roots of this go back about two and a half years ago. I was roundly defeated and rebuffed when I ran for reelection to the DNC in December. I believe that since December 14th, I briefly commented on Reagan and Trump "Democrats" in a repost of a news article.
Since then, I spent at least 16 of every 24 hours in bed, striving to be comatose and unconscious to what was going on around me. Unfortunately, my dreams only amplify my internal dilemma regarding finally addressing those issues. And now, they are impacting my ability to sleep.
I overheard a conversation today regarding the deficinies of the two declared candidates for election as Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) Chair. Truthfully, I have long believed that none of those who served with me as DPO officers and Admin over my four-year term are fit for reelection to any DPO office.
They were well aware of the malfeasances of the DPO Chair, as well as her and her minions efforts to take over the DPO Stonewall (LGBTQ+) Caucus, that I documented and memorialized to the DPO Chair and its Executive Director over the course of six to seven emails. Via those, and other, emails, every single one of those DPO officers and Admin members were well aware of those transgressions, yet none chose to act.
In the week prior to the November general election, DNC Member Travis Nelson requested the DPO Chair hold an Admin meeting, which the DPO Chair did not honor.
It is starkly ironic that the state Democratic Party of the only state to have ever elected either one or two trans DNC delegates, is in the end transphobic/transmisiac, ageist, and mental health antagonistic.
Today, as a great friend and fishing buddy, and I--mainly them--were working on my 9.9 hp Suzuki outboard, I decided for a multitude of good reasons that I was not only going to begin posting my objections to the aforementioned DPO officers I served with over the past four years--and have known for much longer--I am going to run for DPO Chair on March 16th.
I missed the DPO filing deadline to have my name included on the ballot at the election, but as of this time I am placing my name in nomination as a thoughtful and serious candidate for DPO Chair in 2025. I suspect that I will garner more votes than I did when I ran for reelection to the DNC in December. I am feeling up to running a campaign this time.
Peace!