Heidi Rae & Co - Live In Your Worth

Open Letter To Whoever Needs To Hear It:
When Burke and I began talking, I knew within minutes that he was a dad. In fact, it was probably the first thing we talked about - our kids. He had five. I had four. Two of his kids were grown, moved out, living adult lives. Three of his kids still lived at home and, at the time, were in 9th, 7th, and 3rd grade. Three of my kids were grown, moved out, living adult lives and Colton was just about graduated from high school. I had raised my four boys. I did it. I was done!
Burke and I talked for a long while (months) before we ever met in person. After our first date, I knew that I had a decision to make: Was I okay with NOT being done raising kids? Read on...
➡️I knew after the first date, and having talked to him for so long on a daily basis prior to meeting him, that I would really love to spend more time with him. I went home and I had a conversation with myself (this happens frequently). It went something like this: "Heidi Rae, are you okay with not being done raising kids? If you want to be done, that is OK! You've done it and it's okay to not want to do it anymore. If this is your decision, then you need to tell him TONIGHT that you won't be talking to him anymore. If you are okay with continuing to raise babes, that's okay! BUT, regardless of your decision, you have to be ALL-IN. No take-backs. No changing your mind. All-in."
☑ Obviously, I chose the latter. I didn't meet his kids for months after our first date. They knew about me and we'd talk on the phone, but didn't meet in person for a couple of months.
➡️Is bonus-parenting easy? Let me ask this: Is biological parenting easy??? No and no. Is co-parenting easy? Let me put it this way: parenting while in a marriage where both parents still like each other is not easy. Parenting with the person you are no longer with for whatever reason is even less easy. Parenting with that parent + a bonus parent (or two) is on the lowest level of easy.

There are SO many differences in the way the "little" boys are parented compared to how I parented the "big" boys. There is no right way or wrong way, for the most part. But I will say this - that conversation I had with myself that night after our first date has never left me: All-in. No take-backs. No changing your mind.

I just watched a video of a mama, talking to her ex-husband's new girlfriend. I cried with her. She said something really poignant, "My mom never thanked my stepmom. I want to do that differently...Thank you for opening your heart to my girls. Thank you for wanting to spend time with them..." She told the girlfriend a few important tokens of information about her girls, told her that when the time was ready she'd love to meet her. She thanked the girlfriend for making her girls' daddy happy.. It was beautiful.🖤

➡️I love these kids. With my whole heart. I love these kids. All nine of them. I love our kids. Every one of them is so different, with needs all their own. They each communicate very differently, some loudly and others internally. Some still climb in bed with me while others have little ones of their own climbing into bed with them. We see some daily, and others only once a month. With nine kids and six grand babies, it is impossible to be everywhere all at once. But our hearts are full, and so is our schedule!
I am the loud mom at the games - can't miss me (or my voice). I am the crying mom when one of them accomplishes something they've worked hard for or when they've had a break-up or when they haven't accomplished something they really wanted to... I am the mom who thinks cleaning boys' bathrooms is a job for a hazmat unit. I love their messages, random notes about girls or the grand babies or an inappropriate joke they heard. I live for the moments when they just want to hug me or stand within centimeters of me or go for a ride with me.

Step moms, Bonus moms, Single moms - I see you. I hear you. This is not the way we envisioned our lives when we dreamed of being mamas with our dollies when we were young girls. Being a single mom was THE most important thing I've ever done. Being a bonus mom is no less important. Being a Gigi --- the greatest gift of all!
XOXOXO

Before V left work today, she shared this with me:

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH,
ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK,
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE,
ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND,
ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND,
ask the person who won a medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Thanks, V!🖤

Happy August, Beauties!!☀️
I'm Heidi. I'm a partner, a mama, a bonus mama, and a gigi! I'm a stroke survivor going on 6 1/2 years, a girlie pushing through menopause (like a Bosch!), a sports fanatic, a Diet Coke addict, a Harley lover, and a sunshine chaser.🤟
I get to help women FEEL & LOOK amazing and I LOVE IT! There's nothing better than reminding women of their worth & enoughness & helping them look their best (whatever that is to them!).💃

Tell me your favorite thing about YOU in the comments!👇