Kelly Mari Life Coaching

This is a nice idea in thought but from someone who’s been there I can’t imagine women in these situations wanting the authorities called. However, I can offer an ear if you need to vent, want support, someone to cry with or advice. Xo 😘

Boys Will Be Men

The title of today's post comes from a bumper sticker I saw.

It is a response to the often-used phrase "boys will be boys," which gets used as an excuse to do nothing about their selfish, overly aggressive, or irresponsible behavior.

The bumper sticker is telling us that the attitudes and behaviors that boys are developing now will determine the kind of men they will become.

What kind of boys do we want to raise?

* Boys who are sensitive and caring.
* Boys who can speak up for their needs but also take into account the needs of others.
* Boys who take pride in contributing to their family and community.
* Boys who are prepared to fight for what is right.
* Boys who honor females and treat them with respect.

These are not radical goals.

But we can't expect to suddenly instill these values and capabilities in them when they reach age eighteen. We need to bring out rearing of boys into line with our values.

What could we do differently?

* Stop telling boys that they can't cry and have feelings. If we don't allow them to be sensitive now, we can't expect them to become sensitive, caring men.

* Increase the physical affection we give to boys-- more hugs, more cuddling, more companionship at bedtime.

* Firmly-- but not meanly-- stop tolerating it when boys disrespect girls, when they order their mothers around, when they hoard food and toys without considering the needs of other kids, when they make messes and leave them for others to clean up, and when they minimize each other's accomplishments instead of celebrating them.

It's not true that boys "just are that way."

The behavior and outlook of boys varies from nation to nation, and from generation to generation, depending on the leadership that adults take.

We need to give boys more love, more exercise, and firmer limits.

Watch how quickly we'll see positive results.

Say to yourself, "Each day is another step toward manhood for my boy."

Looking for guidance, support, validation, and plan for healing and finding yourself worthy again?

DM me - let's chat.

Xo,
Kelly

It Doesn't Matter If It's the 2nd, 8th, or 12th Time. Nothing Will Change Until YOU Do

Take a few minutes to answer the following question:

How many times has your partner promised you that things are going to get better?

Count them up carefully. Include all the times...

- He has promised not to yell insults
- All the times he said he would make you a higher priority
- All the times he said he would stop having "things" going on with other women
- All the times he said he wouldn't hit you or scare you again.

In other words, take inventory of every time he said his treatment of you was going to improve.

Once you're done adding things up, reflect on this question:

What is the longest time that any of those improvements lasted?
- A week?
- A month?
- A year?

Have any of them actually been held to permanently?

And lastly, think about this question:

Given your answers to the first two questions, does it really make sense to believe that his promises matter anymore?

I'm not saying your partner is being insincere; he may believe what he says at the time. But hasn't experience taught you that, no matter how much he means those promises, he doesn't keep them?

You are headed for more and more heartbreak if you keep taking his promises seriously. Start the process today of accepting the sad fact that they don't go anywhere.

Stop telling yourself,
"I can't leave."
"I can't do it, I don't even have.a job"
"I don't make enough money"
"I need to stay for the kids."

You are only prolonging your heartache. You are only prolonging the damage done to yourself and your children.

Make a promise to yourself today that you will get help, make a plan and get out.

If you need help with a plan - DM me! I've been there and I can help you navigate your way out successfully!

Nothing will change until YOU decide to stand up for YOU.

Xo,
Kelly