Wireback Works

Leaders are often the last people they take care of.

They check on their teams.
They solve problems.
They support others.
They keep things moving.

And somewhere along the way, they stop paying attention to themselves.

But here's what I know to be true:

You cannot build a thriving workplace if you aren't thriving yourself.

The way you show up for yourself becomes the standard your team learns from.

When you recognize your own growth, you show others that growth matters.

When you arrive grounded rather than reactive, you create space for people to do their best work.

When you invest in your own wellbeing, you give others permission to do the same.

Leadership isn't separate from personal development.

The two are inseparable.

➡️How are you investing in yourself these days?

Read the full blog for more details.

AI is a bit like most leaders when it comes to feedback.

It often gives us the answer it thinks we are looking for.

Leaders do this too.

They worry about how we will react. So, they say nothing. Or soften the message. Or they say what they think we want to hear.

This doesn’t help anyone grow.

The reality is that feedback can be uncomfortable. We may question whether it is true. We may wonder what it says about our performance, our relationship with the giver, or even what does it say about me?

BUT without feedback, we miss the opportunity to learn and improve.

What I've been noticing lately is that the quality of feedback we receive is often connected to the quality of the questions we ask.

➡️Ask for feedback, not reassurance.

Get specific about what you want to know. Provide context. Be open to hearing something you may not have seen yourself.

I recently asked AI to review a leadership development session I was designing.

Not, "What do you think?"

Instead: "Please evaluate it for a 75-minute session, as well as in contrast to the outlined objectives for the session. What feedback do you have for me on this session?"

The response didn't just tell me it was good.

It rated the session on content quality, objective alignment, timing, and flow.

More importantly, it told me where I could improve.

🌟That's the value of feedback. Not validation. Direction.

The same is true when we ask our coworkers, leaders, teams, or coaches for feedback.

Better questions lead to better feedback.

My husband and I were working on a project together. I hit a step I couldn’t figure out.

We were missing critical labels needed for the instructions to work. My frustration was building. (And, I was also probably hungry.) 😩

So, I said, “I need a break.”

We stopped, ate lunch and came back.

I figured it out almost immediately.

Same problem. Same person. Different result.

The difference wasn’t the instructions. It was my state of being.

This is where your style shows up, especially when you are frustrated.

Because under pressure:
🔸some of us push harder
🔸some lose focus
🔸some get stuck
🔸some of us (me 🙋‍♀️) get caught needing it to be right

Under pressure, we default to our habits, just with less patience.

Your tone shifts.
Your patience drops.
Your openness closes.

And people don’t experience your intent, they experience your frustration.

The moment that changed it in this situation ➡️
“I need a break.”

That’s the work of leadership.

Recognize your state.
Choose how you show up.

💭What does your style look like when you’re frustrated?

What messages are you sending to your staff?

“Go back to your office.”
“Trust needs to be earned.”
“Stop asking for more to do.”
“I hate HR.”
“Promotion, but no salary increase.”
“You are spreading negativity.”

These are all things I hear from clients.
Messages they have been told.

What do you think those messages say to them?

Go back to your office → We don’t trust you to manage your work
Trust needs to be earned → We don’t trust you now
Stop asking for more to do → Stay in your lane
I hate HR → You’re not respected here
Promotion, but no salary increase → Your value isn’t recognized
You are spreading negativity → Don’t speak up

Whether you intend it or not…you’re always sending a message.

And those messages shape how people show up.

What they share.
What they hold back.
Whether they stay.

💭Are your words reinforcing the culture you say you want?