Freedom Dogs

When a stranger covers your groceries… proof that angels walk among us! 😇

The Indiana Fever have officially signed Gertrud Schlaghammer, a 6'8" former Olympic Greco Roman wrestling silver medalist and ex-German special forces operative best known for her role in Operation Quiet Fist that eradicated an invasive species of bears from the Alps without weapons.

Schlaghammer, 39, has not played organized basketball since middle school.

Known in international combat sports circles as "Esel-Halsschlag" (“Donkey throat puncher”), Schlaghammer isn't expected to get many minutes until Clark is hard fouled. Then the plan is for her to not leave the court until she's ejected.

“She doesn’t speak much English,” said Caitlin Clark, while removing an ice pack from her eye. “But when we first met she told me ‘No one touch you now tiny sexy bird lady.’ I cried.”

Schlaghammer will make her debut Thursday night against the Valkyries, assuming their players show up.