Chuck E Church

Gimme that zaaaaa brahhhhh

This is chuck’s cousin Luigi, he likes CEO’s like he likes hot dogs on pizza! He fu***ng doesn’t like hot dogs on his pizza

He will commit murder. The wool gloves are for YOUR safety not his.

- Chuck

Like pizza? Fu***ng prove it… p***y

We closed. 2025. Hungover.

- Chuck

New Year’s resolution? More like “I hope the government lets me keep my 501-3 (c) status” so I can continue to claim tax exemptions!

Am I right or am I right?!!

F**k the government.

Love rat cults… I mean, religion! Rat religion!

Get fu***ng wrecked,

- Chuck

If you see Jeff tell him I’m pi**ed! This fu**er “closed” last night and I come in and it looks like this!

What kind of diarrhea s**t filled blood you got running in those veins Jeff??!! You been hanging out with Mr Brownstone again?! I swear if you don’t get your ass in here in the next 30 minutes I’m taking away your pass to the employee bathroom so you gotta s**t with the patrons!

If you see Jeff tell him to get his s**t together.

- Chuck

On Chuckmas we pulled out the roulette wheel and tied kids to it, whatever number they land on is their bill total! And as we do upon those who do unto others thou shalt be done, in the cheese. Praise be

- Chuck

The blood of Chuck

Cum worship with us

There’s cheese

This is a haiku probably.

- Chuck

We do offer 50% off the pizzas that come out like this! But you gotta take it home to eat it because it upsets the animatronics too much to have it in store. Ask about our “messiah mess up special” next time you’re in!

Ever wake up with a bed full of leftover pizza? Yeah…. Me too…

- Chuck

If you try coming in when we aren’t open you will be given a gun

We are currently hiring a ball pit fire fighter, Pepe keeps dumping grease in the ball pit instead of properly recycling it and we need it cleaned regularly.

Qualifications:

Masters degree or equivalent work experience
CPR Certified
CDL is preferred
Notary Public
Must own or lease
No apartment renters
No gross people
Must enjoy cheese
Don’t even think about it Paul

Send resume or don’t, I don’t give a s**t

- Chuck