Anxious Yogi

I had reached 37 straight days...
..of meditation and then I was back to 1.

Consistency and persistence can be useful and admirable attributes. When you aren’t consistent or fail to meet a goal, compassion and forgiveness are needed to not let that lack turn into a regret.

This is something I’ve always struggled with. This morning though, I simply did my meditation and I started a new streak.

Now I chose to do the same work with my writing. I’ve been reaching for a point where my writing is part of my practice and I can be as compassionate and forgiving when I miss days of writing.

My Sadhana, my practice, is the way I reach my peace.

Discipline. Dedication.

Whatever the attribute that insists on my meditating as often as I can, I am grateful for it. I know I’m not so advanced to meditate daily without technology involved in some way.

Whether it is my Muse or...
..my Inner Balance bio-feedback device...
..I use technology to provide me with feedback on whether I truly am calm or whether I truly am feeling gratitude during my heart breathing.

Why, you might ask?

I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life. I know for sure that both anxiety and depression began effecting me starting in sixth grade at the age of 11.

Prior to that, I’d been a precocious and maybe even obnoxious child with little fear. I was always the teacher’s pet. I always wanted to answer questions first. I had no fear climbing trees even after falling out of them. I felt safe and liked at school.

I was first bullied in sixth grade. I remember walking home alone with books in hand, having rocks thrown at me. More often it was taunting and attempts to trip me. (There were no backpacks then, so you carried your books in your actual arms. So tripping would result in books scattered on the sidewalk or grass.)

The worst day was when Mary Childs, a girl, threatened in class in front of the teacher to beat me up. I countered, “you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would you.” Her reply, “Take them off!” (The teacher neither said nor did anything. There were no mandatory rules for how to deal with misconduct in schools.)

The anxiety and later depression just intensified through the years. I coped with it in the way most males do.

I ignored it. I worked extra hard, often working long hours. I made light of it. I pushed it out of my mind.

I suffered through it!

Basically, due to anxiety or depression, I never really trusted my brain to be truthful in telling me if I was happy, sad, anxious, or calm.

So, I will continue to use the technology to not only track my consistency, but to help me confirm my state of mind and heart.

Besides, how else would I know I’ve completed 900 sessions.

Sadhana - Daily Practice
For those who practice yoga, Sadhana is their daily ritual, the roots of their practice. To have a daily practice in your home, is a more sustainable way to practice and grow your yoga.
The word Sadhana literally translated is a “means of accomplishing something.” The key for each yogi is to determine what that “something” is for them.
B.K.S. Iyengar defines sadhana in this way. “Sādhanā is a discipline undertaken in the pursuit of a goal.”
So what is your goal? Do you hope to gain peace, calm, contentment, strong and pliable muscles, healthy joints, better sleep, more energy, or wisdom?
All of those are worthy goals and all achievable through a daily practice.
Meditation makes up half of my sadhana. As you can see from my pics, June was a good month for my meditation practice. I only missed one day and I finished June with a 16 day meditation streak.
As a result, I was more productive in my writing, more calm when faced with challenges, and generally had a very good month. I plan to keep it up in July.
Comment below if you have a regular practice of yoga, meditation, exercise, running, or something else. Tell me in the comments what works for you. DM with questions.
@ Dubuque, Iowa

Opportunities to practice with me this month at Body and Soul. Learn how to use yoga and breathing to alleviate anxiety and depression.

Sunday, November 3rd, 4:00-5:00 pm
Sunday, November 10th, 4:00-5:00 pm
Sunday, November 24th, 4:00-5:00 pm

Sunday, November 15-17, is the Midwest Yoga and Oneness Festival at the Grand River Conference Center. Don’t miss out this premiere event and the wonderful teachers coming to Dubuque.