Momo&Me

In the summer of 2001 I celebrated the most emotional day I had until then in my life. The state of Texas would eventually give me parental rights for Momo who only 2-days old was placed in my care by Child Protective Services- CPS. I took an oath that I would do the best I could for him, and I would fulfill this honorable trust from Allah. Unable to bear children, the foster to adopt program was a worthy alternative. Not able to afford international or States adoptions I still allowed myself to care. I might not be able to give birth, but I had so much love to give and share with someone who may need me back. I did, in fact, two weeks before Momo arrived I was entrusted with a 3 week baby girl. I was heart broken to learn she was born so drug addicted. The challenge naturally was learning how to care for a baby who was "trying to break the habit!" In the end, I knew myself. There has never been a more hard thing to do then raise two special babies at the same time. Not only did I have to learn how to be a loving caring person to a baby girl and boy, deal with each of their different struggles. More than anything I had to learn NOT to fall in love as though they were "in the foster care system".
I was not suppose to do such so that I would not suffer the loss of either when the State placed them with their parents, a relative or other extended family interested in taking she or him in. I did my best. But I want to know what kind of foster parent does not feel emotionally in my heart and soul. It is completely impossible to fall in love when you have so much to give, the hugs, kisses, smiles, feedings, diaper changing, caressing, and all new mommy responsibilities. I could not stop. One and a half years into my little girl life I learned that the drug addicted mothers rights had been terminated, however, the illegal alien, gun toting father who had a criminal record was eventually given his rights as a father. He tried so hard but nearly every other night that he had her she cried and cried and did not sleep well. I knew this to be true because he called me and asked "how am I suppose to do this." How do I get her to sleep?" "I don't know, but I think she is running a temperature. What to do?" He just couldn't manage her. 1 1/2 year old daughter. His solution, send her to be raised in Mexico by his mom and dad!" Without much to say on this matter, I WAS devastated.
As for Momo, his mom's rights were also terminated, and we adopted him. Imagine that after giving birth, her intention was to take him to her home to live in a tent under a bridge with no facilities, no heat, no fridge, no water, blankets, No nothing. She along with a partner would walk in the freezing cold air to use the bathroom, and bathe at a local 7-11! WHAT?
Any way I still remember my girl, and I pray for her safety and well-being frequently.
As for my son, he brings me so much joy, love, happiness, emotional satisfaction and pride. I know he is and will always be a special needs person. Now I struggle to attain Guardianship of him! When he turned 18 I was informed that because he was an "adult" he was entitled to make his OWN decisions. Again, I ask - WHAT? Although there is a tremendous amount of evidence that he can NOT make proper, appropriate, decisions by himself! Neither does he speak, nor can take care of financial decisions, much less know if he would "medical need is!"
Therefore, he has a court appointed attorney representing the state of Texas. On my side I have angels afford an attorney whose job is to represent me and appeal to a judge in court that I would be a fit mother and that the state should award me guardianship. I ask for prayers that Allah/God grant me patience serenity, and strength to bear this test. Ameen