Sarah Hackwith, EPC

yep, IN-N-OUT. for lunch. on a Tuesday 😉

if you had told me 10, 15, hell - even 3 - years ago that my relationship to food would feel so free, so fluid, so relaxed, i’m not sure i COULD have believed you (even if i tried!).

food for me was:
- anxiety
- a control mechanism
- something i thought about every minute of every day
- a reflection of my morality (good or bad)
- the thing that set me apart from others
- something to fear
- representative of so, so much more than it is

last night, i ate the largest, most nutritionally dense salad ever. 🥗 today, i had a burger and fries for lunch. 🍔🍟 later, i’ll probably have more veggies and something chocolate, because i love both veggies and chocolate and think both belong in every day 🫑🍫🤟🏻

food obsession is not new - in fact, often, it’s a behavior we learn from people we look up to when we’re younger. disordered eating behaviors ARE really able to derail a person from living the life they’re meant to live. it stops us from stepping into our power entirely. inanimate objects have that much of a hold over us when we struggle with this issue - isn’t that wild?

i wish i could describe accurately how food freedom feels. i wish i could show you the difference between my brain then and my brain now! but you’ll have to just trust me that THIS side of an ED made the entire journey to get here worth it. every last bit of it has been WORTH IT.

i’ll continue sharing some words from my recent clients this week, but until then: i have availability to take on ONE client for food/life coaching this month! 📣📣📣

i have had a full roster these past few months, but finally have some space to help someone new learn how to step out of the grip of food and into their own personal power. the transformation of my recent clients has literally brought me to tears because it’s so incredible watching their growth - and i want that for you, too, friend 💛

DM me if this spot has your name on it! xo

This has been on my heart lately, and I wanted to share!

The journey to healing our relationship to food/body typically has a lot less clapping and celebration than a weight loss journey. It can feel discouraging and like no one is fighting for you to win…

But I am.

I’m fighting for you! Because I know you’re fighting for yourSELF. For freedom. For personal power. For your peace. 👊🏻

If you’re in the weeds and it feels like it won’t end, take a moment and reflect on where you were 2-3 years ago…and start to relish in your growth.

Damn. You amazing human, you.✨

this weekend, i saw some pictures of myself. they were recent, and they surprised me.

i sat, looking at a woman in a body that was both familiar & unrecognizable at the same time. who is she?

i coach people in this space all the time. i help others navigate changing bodies & leaving social norms behind for fuller, more vibrant lives in many forms...and yet, it seems the work is never truly over for me, either.

i have been quiet lately.
i have been sitting.
i have been in mourning, in some ways. (tears stream down my face as i type this.)

yes, my body is different now. (thank you to the several people who have commented on that lately.)

i owe no one an explanation on WHY my body is different (AND NEITHER DO YOU), but i think it’s helpful for some of you to understand this:

the body is not just for show. sometimes it doesn’t matter how well you eat or how much you run...the body holds records. keeps score. it is a physical manifestation of our lives. and sometimes, life changes us.

in the past year and a half, i went from teaching 18-24 fitness classes/week & planning a wedding, to teaching 6 fitness classes/week & working for myself. alone. at home. i had my heart broken not once, but three times. i made the most money i’ve ever made, and i also lived paycheck to paycheck. i healed my relationship to food, and feel like an entirely new human mentally (thank God). i entered a new decade. i came home to myself.

so, yes. i should hope i am different. i never promised i’d stay the same. 👈🏻

through it all, my body, in its infinite wisdom, protected me! it shielded & supported me as my entire existence shifted. amidst all this change, the ONE thing that stayed constant...was this body.

maybe if you stop to think about it - you can relate?

as the world re-emerges, it’s going to be tempting to try to go back to the way things used to be - in all ways, including physically. but friend, i need you to know that our bodies will never be the same after the last year+. and that’s FINE.

with a hand on my heart and a deep breath, i whisper to myself: “i don’t know if i want to go back that badly, anyways. after all, look at what i gained”✨