Vicegrip Verbz

Thanks for the birthday wishes. The last few weeks have been horrendous. Not working, no phone, food issues, numerous concurrent health battles (one straight week of vertigo and counting), court in the morning, and, according to my shadow, my head was shrankened whilst elongating my torso to accomodate pants too baggy for even my belt to keep above my no-ass.
Help welcome, links in comments. Cheers.

My head is still too big despite the shrankenity factor due to congestion. :/