The Voiceover Gym Class

This is a good commercial.

Let's pick apart the voiceover, shall we?

FIRST BEAT:
"Rocky had no idea why Dawn was gone for so long."

- At the beginning of the spot, we don't know who Dawn and Rocky are, and NEITHER DOES THE VO. His voice isn't judgemental at all. He sounds like he's thinking out loud, figuring it out at the same time that Rocky does -- which is great -- it totally draws us in.

"But he'd wait for her forever, for any reason, and would always be there with biggest welcome home."

- Uh-oh. The VO breaks up that second line (which is really awkwardly written to begin with) into too many little pieces: (But he'd wait for her / forever / for any reason / and would always be there / with the biggest "welcome home.") Five pieces is too many. We can really only parse three or four, tops. Anything else is bordering-on-Shatner CHOPPY. If I was producing this, I might try cutting the "for any reason," but if I was auditioning this and couldn't cut any text, I would break it up into three pieces, right where the commas are.


SECOND BEAT:
"For a love this strong, Dawn only feeds him Iams."

- A non sequitur like this requires a very casual delivery. The VO nails this. Do you hear the SHRUG in his voice? It's as though he's saying, 'What can I say? Of course Dawn only feeds him Iams.' He doesn't try to sell it too hard or hit us over the head. He just treats the product name like he's admitting something matter-of-fact. Instead of selling us something, he's saying 'You already knew this.'

"Compared to other leading brands, it has 50% more animal protein."

- Do you ever hear a commercial START this way -- with a percentage or statistic? No, very rarely. So you know you're in the SECOND beat when the VO starts dropping numbers like that.
I call the second beat the ESCALATION. It's when the VO actor needs to up the ante by adding MORE INTEREST in what they're talking about. This is the MEAT AND POTATOES of the spot. Instead of saying 'You already knew this,' the VO's subtext is now 'Wow, this just occurred to me. Let me let you in on this secret.'


THIRD BEAT:
"To help keep Rocky's body as strong as a love that never fades...IF he ever lets her leave again."

- A beat is a thought, and here's where the copy stops talking about numbers and ties the message back to the original thought. It's this top of the pyramid that connects the two blocks below it. I don't like the fact that the VO laughs at his own joke. This kind of laugh can read as nervousness on a VO audition. The joke isn't that funny. A matter-of-fact read with a smile on it will come across as more sincere than a laugh.

"Iams. Keep love strong."

- This IS a strong closure. 'Iams. Keep love strong.' When you think about it, it's a not a brilliant tagline, but it's delivered in such a direct and matter-of-fact way that it doesn't have to be. 'Strong' is almost a double entendre here; it's wrapping up the two ways we're using the word: both strong emotion, and physical strength.