Real Raw Reality

The heaviest load a human being can carry, is what goes on in their mind.

I Was a Child. But I Lived Like an Adult

I was little.
But my life never felt small.
Because I was carrying things no child should have to carry.

I wasn’t worried about toys or cartoons.
I was worried about moods.
Bills.
Meals.
Making sure people were okay, even when I wasn’t.

I learned how to take care of everything… except myself.

I cooked.
I cleaned.
I kept siblings quiet.
I answered questions adults should’ve been asking each other.
I checked on grown-ups while no one ever checked on me.

And the worst part?
It felt normal.
Because when you’re raised in chaos,
maturity isn’t praised; it’s expected.

But I was just a kid.
A kid who knew too much.
Felt too much.
Handled too much.

I didn’t get to just be.

And now that I’m older, I still catch myself bracing for things that aren’t even happening.
Still overthinking.
Still carrying guilt that never belonged to me.

Because when your childhood is filled with responsibility instead of safety, your nervous system doesn’t forget.
Your inner child doesn’t forget.

But I’m trying.
To rest.
To breathe.
To remind myself I don’t have to do it all anymore.

Because I was never meant to raise myself…
I just did what I had to do.