Leadership Thoughts

Most leaders think their job ends the moment they hand something off. It doesn't.

On this week's Leadership Unlocked, I talked with David Stupay, a five-time CEO whose path runs from a homeless shelter to a year in East Africa to executive search. His take on delegation is worth the listen. Handing off a task doesn't hand off the responsibility. You still own moving it from here to there.

One story sticks. David asked a bishop for a sink and got one with no running water. Turns out specificity is a leadership skill.

Links to listen are below -

Ever notice the line outside your door? Same questions, slightly reworded, and nothing moves unless it moves through you.

That’s not a sign you’re needed. It’s a sign you’ve been seeing for people instead of helping them see.

This week on Leadership Unlocked, Dusty Holcomb shares a reframe a CEO gave him in one word: the blacklight. Your job isn’t to hand people the answer. It’s to help them see the dots already on their page. He closes with a simple rule you can run in your very next conversation: ask three questions before you give one answer.

Listen here:

Stop Being the Leader with All the Answers - E65 Podcast Episode · Leadership Unlocked: How Leaders Win in the Era of AI · June 17 · 18m

She runs a strong company. Smart team. Profitable. She wanted to know where to go with AI.

She said: "Every time I think about AI, I keep going back to what I already know how to automate. I struggle to get my brain to the next level."

I hear this constantly from senior leaders right now.

Here’s the thing: she doesn’t have an AI problem. She has a framing problem.

Most people are using AI like a search engine. Type in a question, get an answer, move on. That’s using a calculator to do arithmetic. You can do that. The tool is capable of so much more.

The shift that changed everything for me: stop telling AI what to do. Start asking what it proposes.

Ask it: “Here’s the problem. How would you solve it?” Then watch what happens.

It comes back with options you hadn’t thought of. It asks you clarifying questions. It surfaces the gaps in your own thinking.

That’s not a new skill. That’s the same skill you’ve used to lead people for 20 years. You just haven’t applied it to the tool yet.

MIT says 95% of companies have seen zero ROI on AI. The leaders who are different aren’t more technical. They’re just better at leading.

Full piece is in this week’s newsletter. Link in comments.

What’s working for you with AI right now? I’m genuinely curious.

I was running a division of several hundred people. Growing business. Good team. And I was completely, quietly falling apart.

Not in a dramatic way. In that way that high-achievers fall apart. I just kept carrying more. Every decision came to me. Every fire was mine to put out. I told myself it was because I cared.
It wasn't. It was three stories I'd been telling myself for years.

1) The Hero Myth: If I step in, it gets fixed. Reality: every time you swoop in, you teach your team they can't handle it.

2) Imposter Syndrome: One day they'll figure out I don't belong here. Reality: 71% of US CEOs report this. It doesn't disappear when you earn the title. It intensifies. And research from MIT Sloan shows the leaders who experience it most actually outperform their peers under pressure by 13%.

3) The Help-Asking Taboo: Asking for help is weakness. Reality: Harvard Business School research shows that people who ask for advice are perceived as more competent, not less. Especially on high-stakes decisions.

A mentor finally put it plainly. "Why are you stealing opportunities from your team?"

Episode 60 of Leadership Unlocked is about these three stories, the research behind them, and a 20-minute audit that helps you start putting them down.

Listen here:
https://arcq.us/4flSqNr
https://arcq.us/3PBlNRv
https://arcq.us/42yefC4

Honest question for the leaders here: which of these three shows up most for you at work right now? The comments are open👇

arcq.us

I used to feel guilty about investing in my own development.

You've got people counting on you. Fires to put out. Taking a morning to think or scheduling a coaching session or reading a book about your own growth - somehow that starts to feel indulgent.

That impulse comes from a good place. It comes from a genuine desire to serve.

But here's what I missed for years: when you stop leading yourself, the quality of your leadership declines. At first it's slow. Invisible. But it's absolutely diminishing.

Your clarity gets fuzzy. Your patience thins. Your decision-making gets reactive instead of intentional.

And the people you're trying to serve? They feel it. They may not be able to name it, but they feel it.

I was facilitating a quarterly strategy session recently with a high-performing leadership team. We ran three diagnostic questions that were designed to be about the organization. But the leaders who were being truly honest? They started hearing them as personal questions.

What must change for ME to be the leader I aspire to be?
What pattern keeps repeating IN MY LEADERSHIP?
Where am I saying yes when I should be saying no?

That's the insight I share in Episode 58 of Leadership Unlocked.

Leading yourself first is not a contradiction of servant leadership. It's the prerequisite.

Listen to Episode 58 here:
https://arcq.us/42KmFWI
https://arcq.us/4cYMirS
https://arcq.us/4eUh2wz

Leadership Unlocked: The Stories of Great Leaders The Most Selfish Thing Great Leaders Never Do (But Should)