Coach Jess

Blink & you’ll miss it 🧐
This was a small moment, but the meaning behind it was significant 🏔 Looking in the mirror used to remind me of all the things I W A S N ‘ T. I wasn’t slim the way other girls were growing up. I was stocky. I wasn’t effortlessly feminine, I wasn’t athletic. I wasn’t very good at connecting to other kids. My thighs touched. My skin was accessorized with acne as long as I could remember. My hair wasn’t smooth, it was frizzy.
And anytime I would try getting into exercise it was as a form of punishment for all of those things I wasn’t & for not fitting in the way I wanted to so badly. The voice in my head during workouts was hateful; screaming about how lazy I was and how far behind I was from the person I wanted to be.
It’s no wonder I didn’t want to keep showing up - it was literal torture! After three days of this cyclone of self-hate 🌪 it always became too much and I’d tell myself “It’s hopeless. I’ll just never be that way I guess” and give myself permission to eat all the junk and glue myself to the couch.
But yesterday, this moment happened. I was looking in the mirror and saw myself for all the things I A M 🖤 I am strong, balanced, in control of my mind, surrounded by loved ones. I love myself unconditionally; dance and laugh out loud every day. I fuel my body with the right food, I yell positive affirmations at myself {literally} when the workouts are hard. And progressively over the last 2+ years, I’ve been able to recover from all of the emotional pain I constantly created for myself.
I have a lot of tough days still, but now I treat myself like my best friend. I ask myself what I need, I forgive myself, reassure myself and chose L O V E as a constant and primary emotion toward everything.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: health begins from W I T H I N. It starts when the voice in our head is gentle and supportive.
If there’s anything I hope my clients are experiencing on this journey with me, it’s to taper out self-hatred habits and actively choose a more loving and supportive attitude toward themselves so that they, too, can look in the mirror and smile proudly at how far they’ve come.