Love with Janel

I’m always on the lookout for great couples workshops to go to with my partner.

That’s why I wanted to create an event that I myself would want to experience with my sweetie.

So, I contacted my colleague, fellow s*x & relationship coach Ted Riter, and we dreamed up a daylong couples intimacy immersion that we are so excited to bring to life on Saturday, Jan. 28th!

At our “Intimacy: A Deep Dive” event, you and your partner will:

♥️ build your emotional and erotic intimacy through powerful experiential practices.
♥️ explore a practical approach to ta**ra and the polarity that is fundamental for maintaining attraction in your romantic relationships.
♥️ experience the power and magic of doing transformational work in a small, intimate group setting with a community of other wonderful couples.

Plus, it's a wonderful early Valentine's Day gift idea for you and your love.

This live, in-person event takes place at a gorgeous home in the Berkeley Hills in the San Francisco Bay Area, California.

If you desire to deepen in intimacy, strengthen your attachment, and rekindle the fire with your beloved in 2023, I hope you’ll join us!

✨Save your spot before Early Bird registration ends tomorrow at midnight. Link in bio.✨

And as a thank-you for being a member of my community, I invite you to use the code lovewithjanel when securing your spot for further savings.

I hope to see you there!

I haven’t talked publicly about my relationship with Patrick in a while, and I know some of you are curious about what happened to us…

Patrick & I met at Burning Man in 2017 and were the first person either of us had dated who was actually aligned in our desires. Thus began a liberating erotic exploration that blossomed into a deep love.

But during the stress of pandemic, our erotic connection (and with it, our communication) started to break down—as it did for so many of the couples I was working with at the time.

We tried so hard to fix it, but we just spiraled into exhaustion.

This was particularly painful for me given my work. I felt like a failure. I told myself that if I couldn’t fix my own relationship, I had no business helping others.

By the beginning of 2022, it became clear that Patrick and I needed a break. We decided not to talk for 3 months, after which we would “de-escalate” from being primary partners.

But then, we both found ourselves at Burning Man again. In that environment of openness, aliveness and exploration, we were reminded of why we were drawn to each other in the first place—and how crazy we still are about each other.

Since then, we have been healing the wounds of disconnection in our intimacy, and I’m honestly more in love with him than ever.

Because when you have deeply struggled in relationship but then find yourselves on the other side of that together, you know your relationship can withstand anything.

But healing together takes a willingness to face your shadow and acknowledge its impact on your beloved. It takes an appreciation for the mirror that their love is for your wounds. It takes non-attachment to expectations; deepening in intimacy through vulnerability; and a practice of communicating the hard stuff in a way that keeps you in connection.

That’s why I created a new couples intimacy immersion inspired by our journey.

On Sat. Jan 28th, I’m co-hosting a daylong event in Berkeley, CA for partners to strengthen your erotic and emotional intimacy for 2023 and as an early Valentine’s Day gift for each other:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/intimacy-a-deep-dive-registration-496742639607

Use the code lovewithjanel as my thank you for being a part of my community. Early bird registration ends Jan 18th!

If this post resonates, please comment and share. Thank you 🙏

You know that feeling of finally waking up from a prolonged bad dream…in real life?

Hi, y’all. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. The truth is, I needed to abruptly step away from social media for a while to rehabilitate my mental health.

During the pandemic, I threw all of my energy into creating online content as a trauma response to feeling disconnected from in-person community.

But after 2 years of spending 10+ hours a day glued to a device, I realized I was deeply unhappy.

My mental health deterioration had poisoned my partnership and was isolating me from other real-life relationships.

So, I walked away from everything I’d spent 2 years building online to focus on in-person experiences:

💥I immersed myself in inspiring intentional communities and events across the globe, where open-minded people are actively creating alternatives to our isolating, competition-based society (📷 in reverse chronological order: Burning Man, the Tamera Community in Portugal, and the Twin Oaks Community in Virginia).

💥I’ve started hosting in-person workshops and experiences again, such as a v***a “Adoration” event I’m hosting on Sun. Oct 23 here in the San Francisco Bay Area for people with p*ssies to experience guided sensual touch from their partners without any pressure to reciprocate (link in bio—use code lovewithjanel for $50 off) !

A beautiful side effect of reinvesting in real-life experiences is that I feel renewed energy for creating online content again.

Thanks for sticking around for this next chapter of … ✨

To be continued very soon!

Love,
Janel

*xandrelationshipcoach *xcoach *xcoach *xcoach *xcoaching

As cheesy as Valentine’s Day can be, it’s a great excuse to rekindle the spark in the bedroom with your partner. Because life’s too short to be missing that feeling of connected aliveness, don’t you agree? 💕

I created a step-by-step process to help partners overcome s*xual incompatibility based on the “4 E’s” of intimate reconnection and I’m excited to share it with you at my new FREE couples class.

Learn more and get instant access here: https://lovejanel.com/couples-class

What are your goals for your partnership in this month of celebrating love?👇

Do you ever feel the urge to break up with your partner to reestablish your independence or freedom?

If you experience avoidant attachment or relationship anxiety, you’re probably familiar with this intrusive instinct. 🙋🏻‍♀️

But as a relationship coach, I’m all for helping partners do the work to stay together (unless the relationship has become too unhealthy to salvage).

To that end, here are three ways you can reclaim your autonomy *without* breaking up with your partner:

♥️ Invest in your own hobbies, interests and goals.

♥️ Spend time alone with yourself.

♥️ Spend time with other people you care about.

It’s so important to clearly and respectfully communicate your needs and boundaries, even at the risk of disappointing your partner.

Doing so empowers you to strike a balance between independence and interdependence for a successful longterm relationship.

During the pandemic, I became dissatisfied with s*x with my partner. And since my free class this Wednesday is on designing a win-win intimate life, I want to share my intimacy struggles with you.

I didn't feel desired by him “enough,” which made me feel rejected. In my head, it was his fault. I couldn’t grock that my behavior nor the pandemic had anything to do with it (though they did).

I held my frustration inside until I exploded. I heaped all of my pent-up fears onto him...which didn't make him want to have s*x with me more.

In fact, it had the opposite effect.

Because, for him, s*x is tied up with feelings of obligation.

We knew we couldn't fix it on our own. We needed professional help.

At first, I felt ashamed. I'm a s*x coach. Why can’t I fix my OWN sh*t?

But even coaches need coaches.

And, with our coach’s support, I realized:

✨I had been holding onto unrealistic expectations that were hurting my intimacy with my partner. I was waiting for him to change instead of taking charge of my own turn-on. ✨

So, I began unshackling myself from my self-sabotaging thought patterns.

I'm not going to lie. Untangling myself from them was raw. (We can get very attached to our stories about how things are "supposed to" be.)

But once I started freeing myself from expectations that weren't serving me, I stopped overly-relying on my partner to "make" me feel alive.

My partner felt this shift, and it had a wonderful effect: it drew him closer to me.

Still, our s*x life isn't what it was before the pandemic. But that's OK. And actually, that's not the goal.

The most important thing is that we're more intimately connected right now than we've been since March 2020.

And that's a huge win in my books.

🥰

Say YES to turning yourself on, reclaiming aliveness, and enjoying win-win eroticism with your partner again: join me Wednesday at 5:30pm PDT for my free class, where I’ll share my step-by-step process for intimate reconnection.

See you there!
https://lovewithjanel.com/desire-by-design-1