Home Austin

The most loved little boy!! I can not believe how big A-man is getting.

Honored to have gotten to celebrate his birthday with him twice this month! Once as a team with his friends and then today with one of our favorite caseworkers & CASA volunteers!

He sure does light up our life!! Swipe to see some adorable pictures of our ever growing boy.

Almost a month ago we said “see ya later” to this handsome little hunk! We are absolutely honored to have been able to stand in the gap with him and his family this year and look forward to a continued relationship with them.
This one was special. They all are. Every child that walks through my door captures my heart in a matter of seconds (thanks Jesus for strong maternal instincts) but there was something about this big baby that came at 10pm in a fedora that barely sat on top of his curly hair. He came in a season where life seemed calm, a season after a dark few months & before some even darker heavier times in my life. He taught me how to slow down & love even harder… he taught me to laugh when crying felt like the only option but probably the most important lesson I learned in his time here was the beauty that comes with the pain of “getting too attached”. I knew that this wasn’t his forever home but to be transparent my mind had wandered there, even though I had been routing for family placement. It hit me hard out of what felt like nowhere. The tension I walk in foster care of joy & sadness was exasperated after the orders were placed for him to move. I laid awake sobbing, “Jesus please make this stop hurting so much. Please please stop making it hurt me when it’s their time to move”. The Lord, like He does, reminded me if He were to take away the pain of the end the beauty of the middle would then too have to go away. If I want the end to not hurt I would have to detach my every emotion from the time my children spend in my home- which I arguably believe to be the most important part of what I do. So I have decided that though the end hurts the beauty of the middle is too sweet to miss out on. I will get too attached over and over again. Just like that the Father will honor it, heal my heart and make me “whole” and ready for the next kiddo over and over again.
It was the sweetest treat to fly with him to his family’s house & get him all settled in at home. He’s doing amazingly well (if you’re wondering I am too) and enjoying time with TONS of people who love him dearly!! I’m hopeful that I’ll get to continue to watch him grow from afar 🤍

(Goodbye)This is the post I was dreading the most. This is the one where I knew I was finally going to have to share something I’ve held so close to my heart. I’ve written and rewritten this post 1 million times in my head over the last few months. I hope I get it right but excuse me while I fumble in the weird tension I continually walk in of protecting my children’s story while honoring my reality. I’m going to do my best to do those both here.

In February, I made an incredibly difficult decision. One that didn’t come without prayer, lots of phone calls with caseworkers and a few major meltdowns on my part. I won’t go in to many details other than my personal experience of the situation.

After weeks of prayer, daily phone calls with Caseworkers, Supervisors, CASA, CASA supervisors, attorneys, therapists and a big old meeting with our team… we decided that our home was no longer the best fit. Never once did I expect to be sitting here speaking these words, mostly because I’m stubborn and told everyone weekly that I didn’t want this to happen.I’ve truthfully avoided sharing this with you because I’m fighting many feelings of shame, disappointment and failure.

Although A-man is no longer in our home he will FOREVER be my first guy (how he asked me to refer to him), the one who made me a mama (something he also said he was ok with 😭), he’s forever loved, cherished and championed by not only myself but everyone at Home Austin -including our families and many of you. There’s still a long road ahead for us as we continue to advocate for him!

**These are pictures from our Valentine’s Day party themed Everybody Loves A & the last few pictures of carrying on the handprint tradition. He requested to do a handprint over his original and write his name. ❤️
….
Goodbyes or as I like to say “see you laters” never get easier. I’ve done it 4 times now. However, the best part is I don’t believe that our jobs as foster parents end after they move out of our home, if anything I think that might be where the real work begins.
“Be strong & courageous”

Resources.
Oh my!! This past year has taught me a whole lot about the need for more resources & most of the time I’m creating things as I go. I hate to call these people “resources” but caseworkers deserve Olympic Gold Metals. This year I leaned on them more than I probably should have. I spoke to both my Caseworker & my kiddos caseworkers DAILY! They were my saving grace and the reason I kept going. We put our heads together everyday to help create better opportunities for my kiddos. Point being call your caseworkers, they want to work with you to solve issues.

However, our caseworkers are wayyy over worked so in an attempt to lighten their load here’s my favorite stuff. A calm down corner filled with Social Emotional Learning books & tools. New books on foster care for my kiddos. Facebook groups, don’t knock it till you try it. Respite, I still don’t use this one how I should 😂.

My all time favorite personal book for feeling like I was seen this year- Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison

***The list is sooo long for all the books to read with your kiddos. I tried to make a video but it was 10 minutes long 😳😬 if you’re interested in books head over to my stories where I highlighted each one of my favorites that I’ve found this year!!***

May is National Foster Care awareness month. A time where foster parents flood your feed with as much information & heart as we possibly can. This month has put together some great prompts. There’s a lot we haven’t shared & I am hopeful that this month will be a chance for us to finally open up about some things.
But today, my “why”... there’s so much I could tell you feeds in to my “why”- mostly a whole lot of Jesus. When I read this prompt though this little girl flashed through my head. The little girl who choked back tears as she asked the officers standing in her bedroom where her siblings were going and if they were going in to foster care. The little girl who held her breath for what felt like an eternity as she waited for the answer. The little girl who was so afraid of foster care that she shared with no one the reality that had filled the past 12 years of her life because if she uttered a word she would be in foster care which was way worse in her mind.
My heart is that one family at a time we would change the scary word that is foster care.

Every day I am met with the reality that our story could have been different. We were the fortunate few that had a family who had been preparing for this moment for years. We were the siblings that got to stay together. We were the family that was able to bounce back. But for so many families that’s not the case our home, .austin exists to stand in the gap for the families that can’t. To support the ones who need it the most to become an extension of family for the most vulnerable, the families who are terrified of what the foster care future holds.
I’ve been blessed to walk alongside 4 families. Love on 4 babies. I’ve seen the greatness that can come from loving each family as they are. Those babies and the ones to come... they are my why I wake up every morning & keep fighting. 🤍