April DeMille

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Meet April DeMille - Bold Journey Magazine We caught up with the brilliant and insightful April DeMille a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below. Hi April , really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart

🚨TRIGGERING CONTENT AND IMAGE 🚨

I received flowers not that long ago, a gesture of love, of celebration, and a sweet reminder of a promise.

What I did not expect, was to sit here in silence a month after the fact and unpack the grief that sent waves all through my body. How could one small, heartfelt gesture provoke such a reaction? And then it hit me, as the tears poured down my face. Flowers are a trigger.

I used to love flowers. I used to love spring, I used to love writing. I used to love singing, dancing, sewing, theater, and just creating in general. There was so much I loved before my daughter died. And somewhere along the way, it all died with her. I think I forgot that it did.

But today was a calling to remember, the smells, the colors, the quiet symbolic nature of their presence. And suddenly I was right back there. Just enough to feel it in my chest. Enough to relive the horrific wails that escaped my mouth. Enough to remember the agony that shot through every ounce of my being.

Grief is strange like that. It doesn’t just take the person you love. It takes the version of you that existed when they were here. Sometimes I have these small flashbacks. Not always the big, scary, traumatic ones. Sometimes it’s just a memory of who I used to be. And that makes me just as sad. Sometimes I miss the person I was before life let me down.

I miss joy without the shadow.
I miss being blissfully unaware.

But as much as I miss those moments in my past. I also embrace the gift of grief. I’ve come to realize the value in the role I’ve accepted.

And maybe thats the most important part of the journey. Remembering. Allowing myself to notice what changed instead of pretending it didn’t. Giving it the voice it always deserved.

Maybe the pieces we loved aren’t ever gone. Maybe they’ve just been quietly waiting for a reunion.

I’m still learning how to meet them again.

This was the last picture ever taken of her ❤️‍🩹

Just Because We Share Blood or History Doesn’t Mean You Get Access to Me

Let’s get one thing straight: access to me is a privilege, not a birthright.

I don’t care if we grew up together, shared the same family home, or you once knew a version of me that doesn’t even exist anymore. If your presence drains me, disrespects my boundaries, or dismisses my growth—you don’t get a front-row seat in my life. Period.

Family and long-time friends are not exempt from accountability. Titles don’t override energy. Years don’t excuse emotional laziness. Proximity doesn’t guarantee connection.

Healing sometimes means creating distance, even from people who “knew you before.” Just because someone was part of your past doesn’t mean they’re entitled to be in your future.

I can love you, accept where you are, and still choose not to let you in.

That’s not bitterness—that’s boundaries. That’s peace. That’s self-respect.

I have never in my life been more excited to be called “unapproachable”! Like—was that supposed to hurt my feelings?

There was a time when hearing that would’ve upset me. But these days, I take it as a compliment. It just means my boundaries work.

When people can’t bully or manipulate me into staying the version they want me to be, this is the kind of pushback I get—
and honestly, I fu***ng love it.

P.S.
Sucks to be you!

Happy New Year! Please come join us for a free live event this Saturday. We will be offering oracle card pulls geared towards the themes that might play out the most for you in this new year. As always, we have a lot of fun! We can’t wait to see you there 🎆😘🙏

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Hey guys,
Some of you may know that in the last couple of years Laura West, Lee Michael and I put on a free Christmas reading event. Unfortunately, this year we won’t be able to come together in time for Christmas. However, we are going to still come together. We are currently planning for Jan. 4th 2025. We will post event details just after Christmas. Stay tuned and MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁 😘

I really had to sit with this one!
I can’t tell you how many times in my life I thought the bare minimum WAS EFFORT! It is easy to confuse the two when you have no basis of comparison. I grew up with abuse and neglect in all forms. I was deprived of love so much that someone just talking to me or being kind in a moment, I thought that was effort! 🤯 How fu***ng sad is that?! I’m sure some of you can relate. Even still, I have to ask myself, is this bare minimum or effort? That’s why taking personal inventory is fu***ng crucial to your daily well- being. How many adjustments will you need to make to the people around you when you think about this?