Unprocess Me

Where are the places we go to when we fall short? Shame, guilt, humiliation and embarrassment. I have definitely felt a whirlwind of all these lately.

These 4 terms are sometimes used interchangeably even though the experiences are very different in terms of biology, biography, behavior, self-talk etc.

Shame - I am bad. The focus is on self, not behavior. The result is feeling flawed and unworthy of love, belonging and connection. Shame is not a driver of positive change.

Guilt - I did something bad. The focus is on behavior. Guilt is the discomfort we feel when we evaluate what we have done or failed to do against our values. It can drive positive change and behavior.

CONNECTION along with LOVE and BELONGING is why we are here and it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is the fear of disconnection. It is the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we have not lived up to or a goal that we have not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection.

I am learning that the antidote to Shame is empathy. If we reach out and share our Shame experience with someone who responds with empathy, Shame dissipates.

Self compassion also helps us move through Shame. Self compassion is often the first step to healing Shame - we need to be kind to ourselves before we can share our stories with someone else.

Are you toning yourself down for others to feel comfortable with you while struggling to connect with your authentic self? Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine people want us to be but to find out who we already are and become it.

Stop asking for permission to be who you REALLY want to be. Stop being concerned about what people are going to say sis! When you act on the truth of who you are, you stop resisting and everything becomes EASIER!

Trust your female intuition and step into your divine feminine energy. You already have all the answers inside of YOU! Stop people pleasing.

So go ahead and post that photo they told you was too sexy or too much! Say the s**t you been too scared to say! Do it today. I dare you.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.