Sidekick

Rochambeau: Because it is good to yell, "Rochambeau!" Try it.

Mild-mannered? Highly strung? What's the difference?

The Gerbil Whisperer: They follow his every command. Except for the one you are currently thinking of, you sick f**k.

Speed Reader: He can read things almost half as quickly as you can. But his eyesight is failing