Evolvenetwork

Love this wisdom from friend and inspiration Richie Hardcore. ❤️

I posted on linked in about using mini mindfulness practices before a difficult conversation to reduce implicit bias—mindfulness and slowing down those conversations are one of the only strategies shown to address biases we all have. That’s another post for another day. A friend laughed about my mindfulness...a mindful boxer?!!? But the truth is, boxing is how I learned the importance of mindfulness. It wasn’t until I started practicing breathing exercises, meditation, that I could control my mind’s urge to dissociate in the face of fear. Dissociation in the ring gets you hit. Mindfulness, presence in your body keeps you focused, controlled, and strategic. Boxing is what got me interested in mindfulness, and it’s a great parallel to difficult conversations. If you can stay calm, present, breathing while you are being punched in the face, you can do it while you are talking about things that hurt, feel vulnerable, make you scared. A link to mindfulness and its impact on implicit bias is in my bio.

Box breathing is kind of like the bad-ass breath of all breathing techniques. It’s used by navy seals, and I first learned it in my training for boxing. It resets your sympathetic nervous system, so if you are getting ready to do something that requires you to tell your brain to stop with all the panic—whether it’s because you are having a crucial conversation, you are feeling emotionally tapped, or you are getting ready to spar—3-5 box breaths are a quick way to reset your physiology and clear your head. The number of beats in each step of the breath and the number of breaths are going to be up to you, so it’s good to play with this every day and see how many counts feel right for you—are you a 3-count on each side of the box? 5? 2? The goal is to feel refreshed and with slowed breathing and pulse at the end—not dizzy or tense. How many breaths or beats at each step of the complete cycle does that take for you?

Being a full-time coach and trainer and full-time mom is tricky. Every new developmental stage demands a different kind of attention and not more or less attention. Potty training has been replaced with social media ground rules. Teaching my daughter to share has been replaced with teaching my daughter to set boundaries she will demand others honor. Coaching helps us keep the balance we need to honor ourselves, our ambitions, and our families. Balance is possible, but it’s easier with a co-conspirator.