Borstvoeding in Balans

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Denmark just took a major step.

They are moving to end the “cry it out” method after a nationwide review and more than 700 psychologists raised concerns about potential risks to brain development and attachment.

Let that sink in.

Over 700 psychologists.

The study looked at what happens when babies are left to cry for extended periods. Researchers linked prolonged crying without response to elevated stress hormones and possible long term impacts on brain development and emotional bonding.

And honestly?

None of this surprises me.

We have known for years that babies are not manipulating. They are not testing you. They are not trying to control the house at 2 AM.

They are signaling.

A baby’s nervous system is immature. Their stress response system is still developing. When they cry, cortisol rises. When they are comforted, their system regulates.

That regulation is not weakness. That is brain wiring.

Responsive caregiving helps build secure attachment. Secure attachment supports emotional regulation, resilience, and cognitive growth long term.

This is not about shaming parents who have used certain methods. Many parents were told it was the gold standard. Many were exhausted and doing their best with the information they had.

But we are allowed to grow when the science grows.

Denmark’s decision reflects something bigger: a shift toward understanding early childhood through a neurological and psychological lens, not just a sleep schedule lens.

Sleep matters. Parents matter. But so does how a baby’s developing brain processes stress.

There are gentle, responsive sleep strategies that do not require ignoring distress. There are ways to support sleep without compromising connection.

And at the end of the day, babies are not meant to self soothe in isolation.

They learn to regulate by being regulated.

That is biology. That is attachment. That is development.

We are not creating dependence. We are creating security.

And secure children eventually become independent adults.

If you responded to your baby at 2 AM even when you were exhausted…

You were not creating a bad habit.

You were wiring a brain.

🤍

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Especially in the first months, letting your baby suckle whenever they want to is essential to establishing a good milk supply, including at night, and including in that sleepy, fluttering haze that causes the well-meaning “they’re not getting any milk” advice.

Our babies are born with no blueprint for manipulation. None whatsoever. Let them feed as much as they want to; that's how your milk production is stimulated, and it’s how your baby fully relaxes into the world.

Night feeds also protect against SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, reducing the risk by as much as 50%.

Follow your gut and your baby, not the books, the well-meaning advice, or the clock.

While we’re here, your baby falling asleep at your breast is healthy and normal too. Waking up the second we put them down is also normal.

It’s intense for you, it can be overwhelming and it can take you out of the rhythm of everything you’ve ever known. It feels like forever whilst we’re in it. Go with it as best you can.

Re-watch every single one of your favourite series, movies and Instagram videos. 4 times. Feed wherever you are (in the UK you're protected by law to breastfeed anywhere in public), wear a sling if you can, like a snack bar.

Drink pints of water, eat whatever you like.

You've got this.

Visit our website for a wealth of wisdom from mothers who have been there, at https://human-milk.com/pages/is-this-normal