Young Widow's Voice Initiative

In the year 2016, my colleague in the University connected me to some final year students in the department. We had already graduated two years earlier but she still had contacts with our junior colleagues.

She had enough work on her table and to avoid disappointments, she had to shift some of those jobs to me. I was talented in writing research projects, so she recommended some of the students to me.

I was so happy I got those jobs. I made so much money from those students and I delivered satisfactorily.

The following year, we happened to board the same Keke to attend a wedding ceremony of our colleague. We had a lengthy discussion about so many things and when we talked about the jobs we had and the money we made. At this point, I felt somewhat sad.

I told her that upon the money I made that I have nothing to show that I made such money.

"I have not buy even one cloth", I lamented sadly.

She looked at me and told me that what I used the money to do was standing in front of me.

I was confused.

What??, I asked more confused and agitated at the same time.

She touched my son and daughter who came along with me to attend the wedding.

"This is where you sunk in all your money" she said.

At this point I was tearful. Single handedly catering for two kids after being ripped off everything I would have used to gain financial support is no mean feat.

I hated myself that I wasn't thankful to God. I muttered a prayer of thanksgiving and forgiveness to God.

Few hours from this moment, you will be waving goodbye to 2023.

Probably what is on your mind right now is that you have not done so much.

Probably you have not met up with the same standard of your colleagues, age mate, church member, school mate or family member.

Probably you are telling yourself that you are a failure because you could not met up with your 2023 expectations.

Probably you have not buy even a shoe for yourself in 2023 and you feel you haven't done enough.

My dear young widows, look inwardly, you will discover that you are doing something more than you programmed. You have acquired the intangible asset that cannot be easily seen, touched or noticed.

Go and request for your statement of account in your bank. You will be shocked at the amount of money that passed through that account.


You have done enough so long as you were not lazy and you put in your best in everything you do.

Just understand that the burden is much heavier than the carrier.

Give thanks to God that you could go this far when all hope was lost.

Survival in the midst of storms is itself an achievement.

I am the Young Widows Ambassador and I give you the flowers. 🌺🌺🌺🌹🌹

I give you the kisses 😘😘😘😘

You are the best gift the world could get!

Keep staying strong!

I love you guys!

We go again in 2024

This is my true life story!

Dear Widows and Widowers,

This post is my perspective concerning the discussion we had last week about the health challenges one may have pertaining to LACK OF S*X.

I appreciate each and every one who gave their opinions and stance on their s*xual lives.

Some people speak from science, others from spirituality, and some from personal experience.

I want to share my own experience, not as a prescription, but as a perspective.

When I lost my husband, I decided to dedicate myself completely to God, to my healing, my children and to rebuilding my life. I made a vow of total abstinence — no emotional or physical intimacy.

For over two years, I kept that commitment. In fact, any time I want to engage in an intimate relationship, I felt as if I'm cheating on my late husband. I told myself, “This is the purest way to honor his memory and keep my focus.”

But gradually, something began to change. My body started reacting in ways I didn’t understand. I became easily fatigued, become thinner despite being well fed, get constantly tensed and my sleep patterns broke down. I would have a sharp pain in my abdomen which I suspected to be appendicitis. I visited doctors, ran tests, and tried medications but nothing gave lasting relief.

Then, one day, after a long question and answer session with the doctor when he couldn't find what was medically wrong with me, he discovered that I was not s*xually active, he advised that I should have s*x.

This was one of the toughest decisions I could make at the time. I was not physically appealing, ofcourse you know that men gets attracted to beauty but that was far from me at the time. Men didn't approach me. I didn't have a male friend. So it was more tougher after I decided to have s*x because there was no readily available man to perform this duty.

At some point I reconnected with my unmarried ex. He understood. I did it with all guilt and shame in the world but my "appendicitis pain" disappeared like magic.

Other symptoms began to fade. My body felt lighter. My mind clearer. My health improved without a single pill.

It was then I realized that sometimes, the body and the soul are more connected than we admit. Intimacy in the right context can be part of healing, just as prayer, exercise, and healthy food are.

Now, please hear me clearly:
👉 I am not saying every widow must become s*xually active again.
👉 I am not saying abstinence is wrong or unhealthy.
👉 And I am certainly not encouraging immorality.

What I am saying is that everyone’s journey is different.

What saved me could destroy you. Do what works for you.

Some women will find strength, clarity, and peace through complete abstinence.

Others may find that their health, emotions, and wellbeing improve when they open themselves to love and intimacy again whether through remarriage or responsible companionship.

Whatever path we choose to heal and survive is right. We should not condemn others for towing a different path of healing. All paths deserve understanding, not judgment.

So, my message is simple:
💛 Do what works for your body, your mind, and your spirit.
💛 Seek God’s guidance, not people’s approval.
💛 Never let anyone shame you for your path to healing.

At the end of the day, what matters most is that you live whole, healthy, and at peace with yourself and with God.

Your body belongs to God, yes but it also speaks. If it screams, soothe it. God understands! Listen to it. Care for it. And walk your journey with wisdom and grace.

✨ Healing is personal. Don’t let anyone define yours for you. ✨

MISSION STATEMENT
To amplify the voices of young widows, break the silence of shame, and empower them with the emotional, financial, legal, and social support they need to heal, rebuild, and thrive after loss.

VISION STATEMENT

To create a world where young widows are no longer invisible, where their grief is honored, their dignity is protected, and their strength is celebrated — a world where young widowhood is no longer a source of shame, but a journey of healing, growth, and renewed purpose.

VALUE STATEMENT

At Young Widows Voice Initiative, we are guided by these core values:

Compassion — We recognize the depth of pain young widows endure and respond with empathy, respect, and kindness.

Dignity — Every young widow deserves to be treated with honor, free from stigma and shame.

Empowerment — We believe in equipping young widows with the tools, resources, and confidence they need to reclaim their lives.

Advocacy — We speak boldly against exploitation, injustice, and societal neglect of young widows.

Integrity — We uphold transparency, honesty, and accountability in all our actions.

Community — We foster safe, supportive spaces where young widows can find sisterhood, encouragement, and hope.

Courage — We challenge outdated norms and push for societal change that reflects the evolving realities of young widowhood.

EXPECT THE STORMS TO COME THROUGH THE CHILDRENS TEARS

Young widowhood is different. It's not just about surviving your own pain, it also entails holding space for the pain of your children, even when you are breaking inside. And that, more than anything, is what makes this phase so incredibly heavy.

You don’t have the luxury of grieving in silence. You don’t have time to pause and fall apart. Because every time you try to catch your breath, the children come with their questions.

The Questions That Break You;

“Where’s Daddy?”

“When is he coming back?”

“Is he sleeping?”

“Can I call him?”

“Did he go to heaven with his phone?”

The questions are innocent. Heart-wrenching. And they keep coming unexpected, unscripted, piercing right through the thin wall of strength you’re trying to hold up.

You try to answer gently. Sometimes you can’t answer at all. Sometimes you just hold them and cry, hoping they don’t see how lost you feel too.

And the most painful part?

They don’t understand yet. They know Daddy isn’t around, but they don’t know what death truly means. They don’t understand finality. They can’t grasp eternity.

So they wait. They peep through the door. They sit at the window. They look up every time a car pulls into the compound, expecting him to step out. And each time it’s not him, your heart breaks again… because theirs just did.


The Funeral Doesn't Explain Anything to Them.
Even when they saw the coffin, even when they stood in front of it, even when someone whispered,

“Daddy is sleeping in heaven now,”.

They still didn’t get it. Their minds couldn’t understand that this was goodbye. To them, it looked like a box. A ceremony. A lot of crying. But not forever.

And in the days that follow, you’ll see it:
the confusion.
The searching.

Their little minds replayed what they saw, trying to make sense of it.

You’ll hear them say things like, “Maybe Daddy will come back next week.”

And you'll have to hold them tightly when they cry, or throw tantrums, or suddenly become quiet—because that’s how their pain speaks.

Dear young widow, if you’re reading this, I want to express my sincere condolences for your loss. There are no perfect words to soothe the pain you carry. What you’ve been through wasn’t supposed to happen at least not now, not like this. You didn't choose this road. And yet, here you are, standing at the edge of a life you never expected, holding pieces of a heart that once felt whole.

This piece is written for you. Not to tell you to “move on.” Not to rush you through your grief. But to lovingly guide you into the next phase of your life as a young widow, a phase you didn’t ask for, but one you’re slowly learning how to live in.

I will tell you about the things you are about to discover. Things you never imagined you would face; some hard, some healing, all shaping you in ways that may be painful but also worthy.

This isn’t a list of things to fix or steps to follow. It’s simply a soft light meant to prepare your heart, renew your courage, and remind you that you’re not alone.

You’re not walking forward empty. You’re walking forward wounded but still worthy. Broken but still beautiful. Hurting, yes, but still very much alive.

This phase may feel foreign, but it holds room for restoration. And even now, even here, you are being held by grace. Let’s take this one step at a time. Together.

WHY YOUNG WIDOWS VOICE INITIATIVE WAS BIRTHED

The world loves to romanticize widowhood when it’s about the aged. You must be 60 years old before you can be recognized as a widow. A standard set by religion and society. It is only the frail elderly woman who has lived her years, raised her children, and now lives surrounded by grandchildren evokes compassion, community, and soft respect as a REAL WIDOW.

But no one cares to see the other kind of widow.

In many parts of the world especially in Western Africa where young widows are trapped in an invisible war. A war of expectations, judgments, and silent discrimination.

The society often refuses to talk about the young widow.

Who speaks for the young widow?

Who dares to listen to the silent sobs that escape her pillow at night?

Who sees the invisible chains society has fastened around her fragile shoulders?

The young one.
She is vibrant.
She is still building her life or rather, she was.
And then death knocked, cruel and uninvited.

"Don’t call yourself a widow!"

"Quickly find another husband."

"Don’t carry that label, you’re too young!"

These are the voices that pierce her ears. As if her grief was a choice. As if remarriage is as simple as shopping for new shoes.

But who asks if she even wants to remarry?

Who asks if a suitable suitor exists?

Who considers the emotional trauma of replacing a love violently stolen by death?

No one!

Instead, her identity as a young widow becomes a forbidden topic. She must pretend. Hide. Erase her loss. Society refuses to let her grieve authentically.

Unlike elderly widows who have crossed certain vulnerable seasons, the young widow faces a cruel battlefield of predators.

Unscrupulous men circle her vulnerability like vultures.

The financial weight of young widowhood is sharp and immediate. When death strikes during the early years of marriage, many young couples are still struggling to build stability.

They are raising babies.
Paying rent.
Building careers.
Juggling bills.
And then the breadwinner is gone.

"If you want help, you know what to do," they suggest in whispers that reek of exploitation.

Her beauty, her youth which should be her pride become the very bait used against her.

If she is naive, she becomes prey.
If she resists, she faces isolation.

Who protects her innocence in a world that sees her as an easy target?

When the young widow cannot immediately find financial footing, the vulnerability grows thicker.

Her financial desperation becomes the open door for s*xual predators and manipulators who offer "help" with selfish strings attached.

A tragic reversal where her youth becomes both her curse and her chain.

For elderly widows, children may be grown, financially capable, and able to provide support.

But for the young widow, she becomes both father and mother overnight.
The weight is suffocating.

In many African cultures, elderly widows can boldly stand in public as "widows" when governmental programs or widow empowerment schemes are announced. They wear the title with cultural acceptance.

But the younger widow?

She only participates in widowhood online groups where she gains strength and inspiration.

But in reality; she hides!
She fears the stigma.
She fears the whispers behind her back.
She fears being labeled desperate or broken.

And so, even where help exists, young widows remain invisible.

The Hard Question Society Refuses to Answer is;

How long will we pretend not to see this problem?

Shall we continue to sit in our comfort while more young women sink into silent depression?

Shall we still demand that every young widow simply remarry as if eligible men for widows stand waiting in abundance?

The Apostle Paul’s teaching in 1 Timothy 5:14 has been weaponized out of its proper context. Paul advised young widows to remarry — yes. But Paul also lived in a world where family systems and community guardianship were culturally strong.

Today, we live in a different reality.
The world has evolved. Single-parent homes have become more common.

Widowhood rates among young women have sharply increased due to war, accidents, health crises, and rising mortality among young men.

And worse, very few men are willing to marry widows, particularly those with children.

So, should we condemn these women to a lifetime of shame simply because there are no husbands available?

No. We must rise. We must amplify their voice. We must rewrite the narrative.

WHO SPEAKS FOR HER?

The Young Widows Voice Initiative was born out of this vacuum to shout where silence has prevailed, to amplify what culture has muffled, to give dignity where religion was imposed.


Young widows are the real Widows society Ignores. They face the harshest blows of widowhood. Their struggles are immediate.

Their burdens are heavier.
Their risks are higher.
Their loneliness is more suffocating.
Their financial vulnerability is immediate.
Their emotional wounds are fresher.
Their futures feel more uncertain.

Yet, they remain unseen.

What The Young Widows Voice Initiative Stands For: is to break the shame and silence around young widowhood.

To educate society to stop forcing remarriage as the only solution.

To provide financial, emotional, and psychological support for young widows.

To create safe spaces where young widows can heal, grow, and thrive.

To protect young widows from predators and societal exploitation.

To challenge policymakers to include young widows boldly in all empowerment programs.

We refuse to be silent.
We refuse to let society continue ignoring this growing crisis.
We are amplifying the voices of young widows.

Young Widows Voice Initiative is here to declare:

You are not broken.
You are not alone.
You are not forgotten.
You are strong.
You are worthy.
You will rise again.

If you are reading this and you are a young widow — hear this clearly:

Your pain is real.
Your grief is valid.
Your journey matters.

You don’t have to hide.
You don’t have to pretend.
Your voice deserves to be heard.

We are here.
We see you.
We stand with you.

Prayer for Encouragement in Faith

God of Encouragement, bring people into the lives of widows and single parents who uplift their faith and remind them of Your promises. Surround them with companions who inspire and strengthen their journey with you.

Let these individuals be channels of Your love and grace, sharing wisdom and encouragement that lift their spirits. May their presence give comfort and support, reminding them of Your faithfulness in every situation.

Grant them a community that helps their faith grow, where doubts disappear, and hope grows stronger. Let them find strength and encouragement in the company of believers who show your love.

Through these encouraging relationships, deepen their faith and remind them of Your constant presence in their lives.

Amen.

I have never wondered how much pain a single heart can carry.

How many struggles one soul can endure.

I have been there!

As the world marks International Widows Day, my mind keeps returning to the woman in Tyler Perry’s latest movie "Straw".

The movie has triggered countless reviews, with many seeing it as a portrait of the struggles of a single mother.

But as I watched, my heart saw something deeper. Something darker.

I saw the face of widowhood.

We never truly knew if the woman in "Straw" was a single mother because of divorce or death. But what we knew was clear, she was a woman carrying an unbearable weight.

Every scene, every sigh, every tired glance whispered of someone who had fought long and hard for survival. She had survived through financial storms, balanced work and parenting, fought off loneliness like a stubborn shadow. She had made it through days when her strength was empty, and nights when sleep mocked her.

But then came the straw.

The death of her daughter.

The final blow.

The kind of blow that doesn't come with a warning. That silent assassin called "DEATH" gave the blow and she went amock.

Dear widows, you have witnessed this "blow". This blow didn't just bring the absence of someone, but the haunting emptiness that follows. The silence in the house that echoes louder than any scream. The birthdays that arrive with no one to share them. The anniversaries that turn into silent memorials. The laughter that used to fill the air now replaced by a cruel emptiness.

Yes, I saw in "straw" the true "sinking button" of death’s pangs. She was a survivor already walking on the edge of single parenting and death shoved her over.

I saw a woman defeated by death.
I saw a woman broken by grief.
I saw a woman paralyzed by the weight of loneliness.
I saw a woman drained by emotional fatigue.
I saw a woman fighting the invisible monster of mental exhaustion.
I saw a woman swallowed by hopelessness.
I saw a woman crushed by the cruelty of death.

Because that’s what DEATH does, doesn’t it?
It robs you of breath.
It steals your rhythm.
It rewrites your identity.

And yet, today

On this International Widows Day, millions of women just like her are still standing.

YOU

Yes, you.

The widow who wakes up every morning even when the bed feels too big.

The widow who smiles at her children even when her own soul aches.

The widow who works multiple jobs just to keep the lights on.

The widow who whispers her husband’s name in silent prayers at midnight.

The widow who wears makeup not for vanity, but to hide the swollen eyes of grief.

The widow who holds her grandchildren and remembers the hands that will never hold her again.

You are more than a survivor.
You are a warrior.
You are living proof that grief can bend you, but it cannot break you.
You have faced what many fear, and yet you stand.

Society often overlooks you.
They forget the empty chairs at your dinner table.
They don’t hear the tears behind your laughter.
They don't see the private battles you fight daily.
But today, the world must pause and celebrate you.

You are not invisible.
You are not forgotten.
You are not weak.
You are powerful.
You are not withered.

You carry the scars of love lost, but also the light of a love that death could not erase.

Your strength inspires.
Your faith uplifts.
Your resilience amazes.

And so today, as your name is written across banners that read International Widows Day, may the world recognize the beauty in your brokenness.

To every widow reading this: The world sees your pain today, but heaven has seen your courage every day. You are worth celebrating. You are loved. You are not alone.

May I speak a word of prayer over you:

Heavenly Father,

For every widow breathing today, I thank you.

For every tear they’ve cried in secret, reward them with joy.

For every burden they’ve carried alone, send them divine help.

For every night they’ve spent in loneliness, wrap them in your comfort.

For every child they’ve raised without a partner, bless the fruit of their labor.

For every memory that still brings pain, bring healing that only You can give.

Be their strength, be their song, be their unshakable hope.

Where men have failed, let Heaven arise on their behalf.

Turn their ashes into beauty.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

And I leave you with this question:

If death could not completely silence you, what force on earth can truly defeat you?

Nothing!

Keep soaring Queens 👑

Happy International Widows Day

Prayer for Encounters of Grace

Heavenly Father, let widows and single parents experience unexpected acts of kindness that restore their faith in the goodness of people. Let them see your love and compassion through the kindness of others.

Surprise them with blessings that renew their hope and faith in humanity’s goodness. Let these acts of grace remind them of your endless love and care.

May these moments of kindness be like guiding lights in their lives, showing them your constant presence and never-ending love.

Amen.

Heart to Heart Talk as we approach International Widows Day

When I was newly widowed, I always dreamed about my late spouse. Sometimes he would beg me to give him the children as I would not be able to take care of them. Sometimes he would just be following me around. Some of the days do miss out without having these dreams but I won't miss dreaming about him on days I am so sad and deeply miss him. I would need his guidance and advice on the many problems I now faced after losing him. I felt incredibly lonely and lost.

When I wake up, I would be so angry that it was a dream. I would be so lonely and missed him so much. I longed for a touch or a hug from him.

We were so close and had such immense love for each other. Sure, we had issues here and there during the last few years before he passed, but who doesn’t? He was my everything. After he died, I was not surprised that he often appears in my dreams a lot, especially since we had such a strong bond and great love for one another.

I always loved him visiting in my dreams. Every night, I cried myself to sleep and I would feel his comforting presence and I sometimes hear his voice. I would feel happy.

At a time, he didn’t appear and I couldn’t understand why. After all, our love was so strong, he was supposed to still come visit me and still be with me. I actually felt abandoned!

I actually lost count on the number of times he actually appeared in my dreams. It happened almost every night, it was so comforting to feel him, hear his voice and be with him, and I will always treasure those dreams.

Personally, I think i was grieving too much but these visits felt so real (I could literally feel him!) that I’m convinced that he was actually there.

It's been ten years since his demise and I have long stopped crying and I haven't seen him.

Does your dead spouse appear in your dreams?

So what does it mean if your deceased spouse visits you in your dreams?

Was it really happening or is it just the griever’s way of processing the loss?

Was I thinking too much??

Did you have this experience too?

Are you still having such dreams?

What is your experience?

Prayer for Restful Sleep

God of Rest, give widows and single parents peaceful and rejuvenating sleep each night. Quiet their minds and bodies, letting them enter a deep and refreshing rest.

Take away any worries or fears that keep them awake, replacing them with a calmness that renews their spirits. Let your peace cover their hearts, bringing comfort as they sleep.

Give them the rest their bodies need so they can wake up each day feeling refreshed and ready. As they rest, renew their strength and give them a sense of well-being that prepares them for whatever comes their way.

May their nights be full of peaceful sleep, and may they wake up feeling refreshed and excited for the day ahead.

Amen.

The lives of widows and single parents show how strong and determined they are. They usually face tough challenges, but they also have their happy moments.

They need more support, hope, and help from God and the people around them. Prayers are like a gift to them, and they cherish them so much.

Always pray for God to strengthen their faith and make them approach life with more kindness.

God's help can make things better for people raising kids alone or dealing with the loss of a partner. Prayers will give them comfort and also show them that God is always there, no matter how hard life gets.

In tough times of raising a family alone or dealing with deep sadness, prayers are made to give comfort to widows and single parents.

Ask for help from God for their needs, dreams, and feelings. Pray for bravery and guidance in parenting.

Prayers will make them feel better, bring back hope. Ask for good things for widows who keep going in life with strength and grace.