Ms. Dinta

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What is the best response to ASHAWO?

A man called me ashawo today. First time in my life.

When I looked at him, I immediately thought he belonged in a psychiatric ward, but that would only have been my excuse to walk away. And it wasn’t good enough because this is Lagos. Here, an insult not returned can feel like an insult multiplied.

So I called him a frustrated single man, a re**rd, a predator, and a bandit. I watched his face fall.
Then he said I should look at what I was wearing.

I laughed.

Because tell me why a man in a faded, torn shirt thinks something is wrong with my very new T-shirt, loose sports shorts, and matching footwear, and expects me to be bothered.

Truthfully, I didn’t even feel bad being called ashawo. The word feels outdated to me, but an outdated insult is still an insult.

Now to what started the entire fight:
I stopped him to take me to a nearby store and he charged me the same amount he would charge to get to the express. I even jokingly said, “Ah ah Oga, na just the next street.”

My dear people, that was all.
He suddenly got upset and said, “Una go just fine come outside, but una no get money.”

Ah!
What, sir?

Before I could even process it, he dropped the insult and tried to speed away, so I threw mine back one after another. He stopped, probably because he wanted to get physical, but I quickly entered another bike and went my way.

Then later it dawned on me:

Maybe he got so upset because he saw himself in everything I called him. I don’t know.

Because he didn’t know my trade before confidently assigning me one.