Liber Ars

Never underestimate the power of a crisis.
At some point, you have no choice but to jump into the void. That’s when you find out whether you have wings… or simply know how to land on your feet. Either way, you rise stronger. And the paradox? What you left behind was nothing but cowardice dressed up as ego.

Liber Ars, 2026

Let’s be clear and grounded: there is no protocol to “tame” a partner who becomes violent after discovering that you are going to break up with them. Violence is not a wild instinct to soothe or manage. It is a choice, and it is the (legal, social, cultural, psychological & ethical) responsibility of the person who commits it.
When a partner reacts with aggression in this situation, what often surfaces is not (wounded) love but control, entitlement, and fear of losing power. Your priority is not managing his emotions. Your priority should be safety.
Nevertheless, there is a version of this story that feels almost surgical in its precision. You become polite, distant, steady. The shared rituals quietly dissolve. If you are not able to physically defend yourself, you contact a support centre before taking steps, so the exit is structured and protected.
You do not provoke jealousy, nor do you announce another man. You simply become unavailable in spirit long before you become unavailable in fact.
In some cases, this gradual disengagement can lead to something important: he begins to detach. Not because he has been outmaneuvered, but because the emotional circuit no longer closes. Love that does not feed on reciprocity fades in the absence of response.
But this path only works under specific conditions:
• His violence is reactive and situational, not coercive and controlling.
• There is no history of serious physical harm or credible threats.
• He is capable of losing interest rather than escalating to regain control.
It is like a limb threatened by gangrene.
No careful surgeon reaches first for the saw if circulation can still be restored. They assess. They clean the wound. They stabilize the patient. They work patiently to save what can be saved. It is slower than amputation. It demands vigilance. It requires discipline. But sometimes preservation is possible.
And when the treatment is over, the limb may not be what it once was. It may carry stiffness, scars, a different sensitivity to weather and pressure. Still, it functions. It supports weight. It allows movement.
When young children are involved and the situation is strained but not at the edge of severe danger, managing the transition with timing and care can matter. Gradual detachment. Clear boundaries. Reduced emotional volatility. No dramatic ruptures. Structure instead of explosion.
Handled this way, you may be able to rebuild your life without immediate backlash, while your children retain a father who, despite his flaws and past errors, continues to love them and provide for them.
But the metaphor holds one crucial truth: preservation is only possible when the infection is contained. If the limb endangers the whole body, delay becomes harm. Saving is noble only when it does not risk greater damage.
Discernment is everything. Trust your gut.

©Liber Ars, 2026

(L'eccitazione è tutta in testa)

Inclina il bicchiere
dell’aria e lo fa decantare,
La curiosità preme
Sul labbro muto
del giorno,
frizza tra le ciglia
del mondo,
Straripa coca cola
Dal fondo,
ogni bolla, un corridoio
Di zucchero scomodo,
persuade il tempo,
Assetato
a riflettere, a desiderare.

©Liber Ars, 2026

Image credits: V.P., 2026

🤓

🗣️"Si nous voulons être libres, ne laissons pas les mots penser à notre place." . 👉Pour terminer l'émission, Hervé Le Tellier nous lit un texte inédit, écrit pour l'occasion, droit dans les yeux. . 📺(Re)voir l'émission sur France tv : https://bit.ly/48LyFsf

Gli altri pensano che sia fredda perché:
- Arrivo 5/10 minuti dopo agli appuntamenti.(Seriamente, chi vuole arrivare per primo e aspettare tutti per un tempo indefinito?);
- Prendono alla lettera quando dico "un giorno di questi prendiamo un caffè". (È soltanto il mio modo carino di interromperli quando la stanno portando troppo per le lunghe);
- Fingo di non sentirli quando mi chiamano con diminutivi amichevoli (è già tanto se mi adeguo a un Paese in cui si tende a chiamare subito uno sconosciuto con il nome di battesimo e non per cognome);
Dico chiaramente che non saranno mai invitati a casa mia per festeggiarne l' acquisto. (L' accesso a casa mia, che è una violazione della mia intimità, è riservato a persone che si contano sulle dita di una mano, che sono quelle che contribuiscono alla mia serenità).