Samesh*tdifferentbrain Podcast

To mark Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I’ve put together a research piece on ADHD in adults. It contains perspectives from a range of wonderful people, who share their favourite positives and biggest challenges, as well as what their awareness of the condition has taught them. 💡

I’m so grateful to everyone who generously opened up about their personal experiences for this article. Some wanted to remain anonymous, or have certain details concealed, which is completely understandable. There’s still a lot of stigma and stereotyping around ADHD, which can make people fear prejudice in both their professional and personal lives.

Yet it’s estimated that 3.5% of adults and 5% of children have ADHD globally; and we can only assume the total must be higher when factoring in self-diagnosis, which becomes a necessity for many who can’t access support or face long waiting lists. Even based on official figures, the total estimate of people in the UK with ADHD is 2.6million.

So there’s still a lot to be done in helping such a large section of the population feel better included and supported. Hearing about the lived experiences of people with the condition is a powerful place to start. I hope you enjoy reading these and find the piece valuable. ⚡

What is ADHD in adults? ADHDers on how the condition feels — Same S**t Different Brain For Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I posted a callout across various platforms for lived experiences of ADHD. I wanted to share perspectives from the people with the condition, which reflect both its positives and its challenges. You might think we hear plenty about ADHD these days, but we still d

This International Women’s Day, I’ve published my story of pregnancy loss. I hope it helps any other women (and those who may not identify as women) to feel less alone throughout this whole process. ❤️

I started typing up an ongoing account of my experiences soon after my medical termination (TFMR). It was freeing, yet it was far from an escape. It forced me to immerse myself right into the thick of it, get my thoughts down and make some sort of sense of everything in the midst of chaos, as I felt so sad and lost.

Committing this process to the page would help me forever preserve that sacred time when I was going through something so unprecedented in my own life. I wanted to do this so that others could feel seen and understood, and also for myself, knowing I would be grateful to revisit this in future and feel proud at how far I’d come.

By recording what that version of me was thinking and feeling at that time, I was honouring her, promising that I wouldn’t leave her behind. I would stay with her through this precious story, and together we would let others in on our story so that we could all stay with each other too.

When I attended Heard Storytelling’s spoken stories event in January, I knew their International Women’s Day edition had to be where I shared my own story for the first time. I did that on Wednesday and an incredible thing happened. Numerous other women in the room let me know that they, too, had experienced pregnancy loss, and it was glorious for us all to see each other in one room and share so much love.

Over the last two days, more women have continued to let me know that they’ve also been through this. My heart is completely full at your kindness, generosity and bravery at speaking up online on my posts, or personally reaching out to message me. I’m so sorry for your losses too. Together we break the silence that adds to our shame, instead lifting each other up and showing that we are not faceless statistics who have to hide away in loneliness.👭

I hope my story is of comfort in some way. If you’re not personally affected but you think someone you know may be struggling and would benefit from hearing someone else’s account, let them know.🌈

One in Four Women: My Pregnancy Loss Story — Same S**t Different Brain January 2023, just after my 36th birthday. I’m sitting on a quiet hilltop in an ancient forest in the Scottish Highlands, looking out across an expansive valley, snow-capped mountains and four shimmering lakes. I’m thinking about what’s changed since I was last here a year ago, and what else m...

Just over four months ago, I lost a pregnancy. When you’re hit with something like this, you just feel so alone as you go through the seemingly never-ending grieving process. Last night, I finally shed that sense of loneliness and, yes, shame. No matter how much we consciously believe we should not view pregnancy loss as a failure, it’s just how we end up feeling deep down. That’s partly *the patriarchy*, partly what happens when we harbour these secrets about ourselves as they feel too scary, yet are so common and all part of the human experience. ❤️

That’s why as soon as it happened it felt right not to keep this private, and to speak out when the time was right. So I’m eternally grateful to have been able to share my story at this incredible International Women’s Day event from Heard Storytelling. The host I mentioned was the simply brilliant Caroline Dyer, who co-founded Heard Storytelling with the equally wonderful Colette Burroughs. They created such a beautiful safe container for myself and five other women, as we worked together for weeks to process our experiences and put together stories that would resonate with the audience. I can’t thank them enough; their work is amazing.

There’s enough suffering in silence in this world, and if there’s one thing that’s still taboo among women, it’s this. Our togetherness is vital and I wanted to be one of the ones helping others to feel seen. I really wanted it all to mean something for myself, too. I found that meaning by the bucketload in the room Feel Good Club last night. The personal notes from the audience were such an honour to receive; they really made it all worth it and I’ll treasure them forever. Thank you to everyone who wrote one, shared your experiences, came up to speak to me or raised your hand. Everyone else in attendance - thank you for listening; being heard is such a powerful gift and a privilege. We use our voices for the many women who can’t.

I talked in my story about the baby memorial service I attended. How one in four women experience pregnancy loss and that’s the only time we ever come together, the faces behind the statistics.

I was wrong; last night, we inadvertently came together again. ❤️

Just before Christmas, I listened to ’s audiobook of his autobiography. It was so, so good. I’ve rarely heard people take so much care to describe their mental experiences, such as intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation, in such specific detail. (Just a warning that it does describe suicidal attempts too.) He also movingly discusses losing his mum at a young age. It was so on-point, heartrending and perfect for those quiet, thoughtful days pre-Christmas (for me, anyway; I took an extended break to rest this year).

Limmy also talked about his challenges with alcohol addiction and the events that led to his sobriety, as well as some experiences with drugs that had stayed with him and scared him. I’d really recommend listening to this for anyone struggling with finding contentment and feeling isolated in their thoughts, or anyone reassessing their relationship with alcohol and wondering how to continue making conscious choices after Dry Jan.

Obviously because it’s Limmy, it’s also laugh-out-loud funny at many points too. 😅

I then came across this old article in which he’d talked about depression and anxiety. It was really fascinating in how they’d written about it being so refreshing and impactful for a famous person to open up about their mental health like this. It made me wonder, have we lost that a bit today? Have people become less sympathetic to these sorts of experiences, or is everyone just more desensitised as we’re used to people being a little more vulnerable now?

It’s definitely a good thing that it’s become more common to hear people of influence open up in this way, of course. And it’s nice to reflect on how far we’ve come if 10 years ago, even mentioning mental health conditions seemed radical. I’m not saying we don’t still have some way to go in breaking down stigmas (for men in particular) but good on Limmy for writing about it so brilliantly. 🧠