The Protected Project

One of these comments on this post includes the statement ‘the biggest lie ever told’, go and read the rest 🙏🏼

What. Are. We. Doing!! Judges. Legal professions. Social workers - when our children are strong enough to stand up and be brave and say what makes them safe. For the love of God, listen!

And when they’re too little to have an actual voice, listen to your heart before it gets too hard to care.

I read a post today from a foster mom I deeply admire, and honestly… it made me angry.

She shared that a child was brought into court and asked to speak to the judge.
Asked what they wanted.
Asked where they felt safe.
Asked to use their voice.

And then the adults did the exact opposite anyway.

So what exactly is the point?

Y’all fight in these comments every single day about what adults need.
More time.
More chances.
More grace.
More reunification efforts.
More patience.

And yes, sometimes those things matter.

But what absolutely blows my mind is that a child can be old enough to sit in a courtroom and tell adults exactly how they feel… and somehow their voice still carries the least amount of weight in the room.

Make that make sense.

This is supposed to be CHILD protective services.

Not adult reputation protection services.
Not endless second-chance services.
Not “ignore the child until they age out traumatized” services.

A child should not have to beg adults to feel safe.
And they definitely should not be taught that their voice only matters when it matches what the adults already planned to do anyway.

Because let’s be honest:
some of these kids are not being asked because adults truly care what they think.
They are being asked so the system can say,
“See? We let them speak.”

Meanwhile the decision was already made before the child ever opened their mouth.

That is cruel.

And then people wonder why so many former foster youth grow up angry at the system.

Maybe because they learned young that adults love the idea of children having a voice…
until the child says something inconvenient.

If a child is mature enough to be brought into court and questioned about their safety, their future, and their life…
then maybe somebody should actually listen.





Foster the Family Blog

I’ve been wondering about how to share one of the most important things we do as foster carers, and it’s a little frowned upon to share pictures of us holding our sobbing children whilst they relive trauma.

So I’m sharing some roots.

When I hear people say they couldn’t foster because they’d ‘get too attached’ I silently cheer for humanity, not because they think that they couldn’t foster, but because they would love unconditionally, open their hearts to the most incredible pain (grieving someone who is still alive, knowing they’re in a place that they would choose not to be if their tiny voice mattered) and that their heart would break into a million pieces when their child left.

That kind of love is deserved by every child in foster care - no matter if they’re staying with you, moving on to adoption or going back to a situation even the police say they shouldn’t go back to.

That kind of love gives children roots that ensures they are strong and resilient to whatever life may serve them.

That kind of love breaks you, whilst making them. It’s the kind of love that we offer, knowing that the effects will remain long after the child forgets your name.

It’s the kind of love that lives on in their cells, they carry it forever and it’s the kind of love that enables them to love again.

Let me know if you’d like to chat about foster care, if you could get too attached to a child that needs you to 🧡

Foster care is enlightening, exhausting, creative and endearing, forever challenging . . .

Please share with someone who has made a difference in the life of a child 🧡

What’s something about foster care you wish you knew before you became a foster carer?

No one ever tells you this about foster care.

Some children don’t cry when they’re taken from home.
Not because they aren’t scared — but because they’ve learned that crying doesn’t change anything.

Some kids arrive with a bin bag instead of a suitcase.
Because no one thought they’d stay long enough to need one.

Some children don’t ask for toys.
They ask what time dinner is — because routine feels safer than gifts.

And some children will test every boundary you have.
Not to be “difficult”…
But to see if you’ll leave like everyone else did.

Foster care isn’t about being a hero.
It’s about being consistent.
Being calm.
Showing up again tomorrow.

You won’t fix everything.
But you might be the first safe adult they’ve ever known.

And that changes a life.

Are you considering foster care in 2026? Comment below, I’ll introduce you to our agency in the UK.

If this made you pause — please share it.
Someone who needs to see this might be scrolling right now.

🧡

People ask ‘how do you carry on doing it’? They mean, ‘how do you survive loss, move on, and set yourself up for more loss’? Foster care is simply about doing the next right thing, time after time after time.

I do the right thing, not every time (I’m no saint). But. I do what I’m capable of, for others, when I can because it’s what I was raised to do.

I’m no martyr. The times in between the hard are awesome, incredible, life affirming and, they fill our home with joy and love.

The losses hit us hard, but the privilege hits us harder 🧡