benedictecaputcoaching

A few weeks ago, one of my clients asked me why I do what I do?

It is cliché, yet, still, it comes from a place of pain. My own and the one I observed throughout my life.

By the time I was 22 I had dealt with 3 deaths, all from su***de. The last 2 had a huge impact on me.

Having had my fair share of challenges, the thought of quitting life is a thought I had more times than I’m comfortable admitting.

I guess, in a way, having been on the other side gives perspective.

Still, I wondered, what’s the point if the human experience is pain & emptiness?

I simply refused to believe that it was all there is and that everybody was feeling the same.

So what could I do? How could I help? What could we manage daily to move from a place of surviving to thriving?

How can we protect the ones we love from suffering to the point where they believe quitting life is the only option?

The way I see it, our health is a fundation made of different pillars. If those pillars are stable and sturdy enough we can handle the ebb and flow of life.
If one or more are wobbly, then we are in trouble.

That's all it all began.

Eating disorder and disordered eating is a subject close to my heart. It is a battle I have experienced for more than 15 years. And I would have a lot to share about it which wouldn't fit in a post.

What breaks my heart when I see people struggling with this is that no one can force someone into change.
This week, I have heard someone saying
"awareness isn't enough".

And that's true, awareness is important, essential even. After all you don't know what you don't know.
Yet, without action, awareness isn't worth a lot.

In addiction recovery, they will ask
"have you experienced enough pain yet?"
It is unfortunate but true that until the pain of not changing isn't stronger than the discomfort of changing it is likely that recovery will be delayed.

I have a question for you guys, would you like me to share more of my journey through eating disorder recovery?

To train or not to train; that is the question.

Have you ever felt guilty for missing a workout?
The line between "laziness" or actually needing to rest is thin and oftentimes blurry.

When I lack the motivation to train, here are a few things I would ask myself
- how was my sleep?
- am I properly fuelled and hydrated?
- am I stressed?
- am I sore?
- do I have a busy /long day?
- have I recovered enough?

Pushing through because" society" told us isn't the appropriate answer.
Instead adapt, go for a gentle walk in nature, do some stretches or yoga or just Netflix and chill.

Rest can also be productive.

I remember being 12, becoming increasingly aware of my body, comparing my weight with my friend's.

I remember being 14, thinking
"if only I could achieve the perfect body, then I would finally be loved and accepted".

A challenging relationship with food is never really about food.
There is something deeper.
For me, part of it was a longing for belonging.

Losing weight didn't change the way I was feeling, I was actually digging a deeper hole. Relying on external factor to fix an internal unease.

When I work with clients we don't look at quick fixes, we gradually peel the layers to uncover the root cause and achieve long lasting changes so they can thrive in life rather than simply surviving.