What Next Tattoos

If anyone is heading to Montreal this Friday, drop me a line.

Okay, legit, I need new tec cosplay friends. Where you at?

Hey Jesse,
Only a few more hours and it's your birthday dude! In whatever next version of...I dunno, being energy that's gotta go out manifest somehow, somewhere... energy doesn't just disappear so I know you're around or on some other plane of existence.
I know you're here.
You're always here, just like that morning where I got that phone call... you were here long before that, it was early. And just, weird.
I texted Paul that morning when I got up and started cooking breakfast for the kids. I said something like, "Be advised; I'm depressed today for some reason and I don't know why."

You know, just so knew what he was coming home to in advance 😆
I just felt it, I didn't know what in the bloody hell it was, but it was there and real and Elisa was there and itold her too. She was here when you Andrea messaged me. At first once we started talking I was like, "f**k off (mentally) no way, what are you talking about? Jesse who?" And then I have no idea what happened. I was sitting on the counter by the stove, and Elisa was at the kitchen table with a tea I imagine, and I was used to constant messenger s**t cuz of the group. The group you loved. You were so proud of me.
NO ONE in my life, has EVER been more proud of me than you.
In everything I went through you were a constant that never judged me, you were the opposite actually 😆
You wanted to hear my stories, they calmed you down.

But no way did i believe it at first.
You never really figure that out until it happens and you're just like, it's almost funny how absurd of a thing it is to ever acknowledge about our existence. That we do that. Get told straight facts and then be like, "naaaaahhhhhh I dunno what you're taking about but this is a scam or some s**t. Like, not a chance bud.
Then, your mom called.

At that point, I had gone through the motions, or I suppose the stages of dealing with loss. Denial. Then I broke down. Then I got so f**king mad, it was insane, like, I broke s**t." Then acceptance. No, spiteful acceptance. Then, just love. And sadness. Which is what led me to promptly to go grab my ridiculously massive tub of paint, got a bunch of booze, and painted a mutual of you on my wall.
I'll make another video, I've got so much more that we all still need to see, and laugh watching, and be baffled by you on everything you are.

I'll never, ever, meet anyone like you Jesse.
So now, I'm just gonna channel your energy as often as I can and make as many ludicrous videos and send them to everyone I know at 3am. And I'm gonna go play guitar with Paul in the backyard until the neighbor calls the cops again.
We need a white board that just says, "days since last police, fire, or ems showed up."
So far I think we're sitting at like, 4 days cuz a lunatic some or friends truck.
But, now it's 11:24 and I started writing this at like 10:24 actually... wow. Happy 34th in the next half an hour.
I know you're here, but...I wish you were the kind of here that I could yell at for something.
You are my spirit animal.
Rest easy brother-from-another-mother...
And Debra, I love you. I'm sorry, and I'm gonna go drink some beers and make a video.
If you've got random videos no one else has, please... send them.

Happy birthday 34th in half an hour Jess... it's now 11:39.
I'm gonna go have some beers for ya.
You better have something cold for me whenever we meet up again, and wherever that may be.
I love you.
And I miss you so f**king much.

I... NEED... band friends. Like, now. If you play something, ANYTHING AT ALL including a triangle...a washboard... that African thumb piano thing... COME PLAY WITH ME PLEASE. I've got everything, including the washboard, which is siiiiick with banjo finger picks. Random act of save Niki, come play. I'm losing my mind, and I need jam friends.

You: "I play bass but I don't have one."
Me: "I've got a five string bass."

You: "I play guitar, lead or rhythm, but don't have one."
Me: "I've got like 6. Electric, acoustic, electric acoustic, 12 string... got it."

You: "I play keyboard, but don't have one."
Me: "I've got 3."

You: "I play banjo, but don't have one."
Me: "I've got a brand new shiny loud banjo."

You: "I play drums but don't have a kit."
Me: "I bought a sick kit yesterday."

You: "I play ukulele but don't have one."
Me: "I've got 3 or 4."

We all know where I live, come play s**t with me!!! Like right now.
Oh and lots of mics for singers... just come play with me!! I need music therapy and it's easy more fun with more people than... only me. And I can't play drums, banjo, keyboard, guitar, bass, and sing all at the same time... I'm trying to but... it's not ideal. My loop pedal can only do so much.
Please... please come play. IDGAF what we're playing, I'm in. Name a song, I'm down.