WithVixx

Don't be your child's first bully. 🚫😡🗣

Don't normalize fear as an interpretation of love, or obedience as the ideal default- that sets children up for seeking patterns of abuse down the road. It's okay to question. It's okay to make mistakes. That's true for us as adults, and it's sure as hell okay for people with developing prefrontal cortex and everything else.

I parent to have children that come to me with problems, not ones that feel they have to hide them from me- I want to help them out of trouble, not be the one to put them in it.

Punishment makes kids feel bad about about *themselves*, not about what they've done. Being punitive has been proven over and over again to be damaging to the parent-child relationship, and doesn't give the child skills to overcome the problem/mistake when it occurs again, just the knowledge that the parent isn't a safe place to let it be known.

Connection before correction is key- kids don't learn from people they don't trust the opinions of, and can't learn unless they feel safe. I've been in abusive relationships where I got yelled at, and it absolutely blanks my mind and activates my flight/fight/faun response- children are the same way, and moreso bc we are bigger than them and in charge of their well-being.

No one deserves being yelled at.
No one deserves being hit.
*(Except not-sees, go right ahead with that one.)
Do not teach your children that this behavior is acceptable, nevermind an act of love.

Do not be your child's first bully.

Most things were never about you.

Maturity is realizing people respond from their own stress, pain, and experiences.

Taking less personally doesn’t excuse bad behavior, it protects your peace from carrying what isn’t yours.