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Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.

It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the drivers seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.

Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.

Fun Fact of The Day: Barbies get fat too, if you microwave them

Whoever says I can't cook clearly has not tasted my Pop Tarts

So far I'm 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.

If you think husbands aren't good listeners, whisper "Come here, I'm naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.

Just blew the sugar off my doughnut… Dieting is hard!

I miss the good old days when you knew right away if some one was crazy because they were talking to themselves. Now days you have to look for a Blue tooth.

Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I'm a valued customer at several grocery stores.