JoOutLoud

Canadians recognize the danger in this picture.

And there were goslings. Not the Ryan kind. Cobra chicken kind.

3 lifting days a week. Mental health, maintenance of muscle, inappropriate music choices.

I work in restorative justice. Mainly with kids, but there are often adults involved. I think it's important for adults to hear this.

The kids who sit in our circles are more courageous than adults. They move through responsibility, accountability, and repair, even though it's incredibly hard.

Many times when adults are asked to show up the same way, they want to control the narrative. They have difficult listening to, and empathizing with the other people in the circle. They are challenged with defining their role in repair. And they often want to default to their authority and experience.

It's much harder to help adults recognize their role in why harm happens.

What do we do about it?

I encourage adults to listen to listen, not listen to respond. To not address the incident, but instead the harm they hear has been caused. To try to understand where others are coming from, not just want others to understand us.

When we show up to defend, or stay on the surface of what happened versus what hurt, we can avoid feeling hard things, and maybe some tough self-reflection.

Our role in repair comes from care. Not from being right.

I told my 21 yr old I wanted to have a pool party this summer. She told me I don't have a pool, so I reminded her of my super sweet blow up wading pool. She just looked at me and said "...no".

I think she's underestimating the desire of perimenopausal women to stay cool, sit in the sun and drink margaritas.

So who's coming to my pool party this summer? 😂